Lighthouse and naval vessel urban legend
The lighthouse and naval vessel urban legend describes an encounter between a large naval ship and what at first appears to be another vessel, with which the ship is on a collision course. The naval vessel, usually identified as of the United States Navy and generally described as a battleship or aircraft carrier, requests that the other ship change course. The other party (generally identified as Canadian or often Irish and occasionally Spanish) responds that the naval vessel should change course, whereupon the captain of the naval vessel reiterates the demand, identifying himself and the ship he commands and sometimes making threats. This elicits a response worded as "I'm a lighthouse. Your call" (or similarly), a punchline which has become shorthand for the entire anecdote.
It has circulated on the Internet and elsewhere in particular since a 1995 iteration that was represented as an actual transcript of such a communication released by the office of the U.S. Chief of Naval Operations. There appears to be no evidence that the event actually took place, and the account is implausible for several reasons. It is thus considered an urban legend, a variation on a joke that dates to at least the 1930s, sometimes referred to as "the lighthouse vs. the carrier" or "the lighthouse vs. the battleship". The U.S. Navy has a webpage debunking it, although this did not stop the former U.S. Director of National Intelligence Mike McConnell using it as a joke in a 2008 speech. Other speakers have often used it simply as a parable teaching the dangers of inflexibility and self-importance, or the need for situation awareness. In 2004 a Swedish company dramatized it in an award-winning television advertisement.
All the above having been said...It's still a funny joke and I laugh every time I read it. Thanks Tug!
There is another radio conversation I once read about during the Vietnam war that's
supposedly true. Two ships sailing off the coast of South Vietnam on a foggy night. The first ship, a destroyer, detects another vessel on radar. "Vessel at 075 relative please I.D. yourself." No return radio call is heard. The destroyer then radios this message "Vessel entering restricted harbor area identify yourself." For a second time no return radio call is heard. Finally the destroyer captain loses patience and sends "Vessel entering the restricted harbor area this is a U.S. Navy destroyer and I have my guns trained on you. Identify yourself or be fired upon." Several seconds of tense silence followed until this reply was received "U.S. Navy destroyer this is the U.S.S. New Jersey...you may fire at will."
An Aircraft Mechanic only needs two tools, Duct Tape and WD40.
If it moves and it's not supposed to - use the Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and it's supposed to - use the WD40.
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