naval joke

[yancovitch]

This is the transcript of the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the Newfoundland coast in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one five degrees north or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

[Flying Trucker]

[Fozzer]

..... .... .... ....!

I love the constant war across the 49th Parallel North..... ....!

Just to show them who's boss!

("South Park" has got it nailed!).... ....!

Paul..... ....!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/49th_parallel_north

.....even more confusing..... ....>>>

https://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2 ... ght-story/

[Tug002]

Keep smiling
Tug

[Hawkeye07]

Lighthouse and naval vessel urban legend

The lighthouse and naval vessel urban legend describes an encounter between a large naval ship and what at first appears to be another vessel, with which the ship is on a collision course. The naval vessel, usually identified as of the United States Navy and generally described as a battleship or aircraft carrier, requests that the other ship change course. The other party (generally identified as Canadian or often Irish and occasionally Spanish) responds that the naval vessel should change course, whereupon the captain of the naval vessel reiterates the demand, identifying himself and the ship he commands and sometimes making threats. This elicits a response worded as "I'm a lighthouse. Your call" (or similarly), a punchline which has become shorthand for the entire anecdote.

It has circulated on the Internet and elsewhere in particular since a 1995 iteration that was represented as an actual transcript of such a communication released by the office of the U.S. Chief of Naval Operations. There appears to be no evidence that the event actually took place, and the account is implausible for several reasons. It is thus considered an urban legend, a variation on a joke that dates to at least the 1930s, sometimes referred to as "the lighthouse vs. the carrier" or "the lighthouse vs. the battleship". The U.S. Navy has a webpage debunking it, although this did not stop the former U.S. Director of National Intelligence Mike McConnell using it as a joke in a 2008 speech. Other speakers have often used it simply as a parable teaching the dangers of inflexibility and self-importance, or the need for situation awareness. In 2004 a Swedish company dramatized it in an award-winning television advertisement.

All the above having been said...It's still a funny joke and I laugh every time I read it. Thanks Tug!

There is another radio conversation I once read about during the Vietnam war that's supposedly true. Two ships sailing off the coast of South Vietnam on a foggy night. The first ship, a destroyer, detects another vessel on radar. "Vessel at 075 relative please I.D. yourself." No return radio call is heard. The destroyer then radios this message "Vessel entering restricted harbor area identify yourself." For a second time no return radio call is heard. Finally the destroyer captain loses patience and sends "Vessel entering the restricted harbor area this is a U.S. Navy destroyer and I have my guns trained on you. Identify yourself or be fired upon." Several seconds of tense silence followed until this reply was received "U.S. Navy destroyer this is the U.S.S. New Jersey...you may fire at will."

[H]

First of all, in the opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com link, the Mississippi doesn't flow northward, it is sourced at its north, so it should read, "...the Mississippi flowed from so far north..." It was also interesting to read that 70% of you Canadians are to the south of the 49th (i.e., mainly in the southeast), leaving many of the other 30% out in the cold.

This being a "naval joke" post, I thought to add this:
A rather large and hefty fellow, Biggins was one of the foremost wrestlers in the Navy. One day a challenge was given by the Japanese. Well, Biggins was for upholding naval honor and showed up to set up the time and place. He then saw his proposed opponent, a 7½-foot-tall, 450 pound sumo wrestler. Unfortunately, when the Japanese insisted they wrestle on their terms, as they said, "navel to navel," Biggins just didn't have the stomach for it.

[Anthindelahunt]

Thanks everyone for a great laugh.
I feel much better now.

Anthin.