Man Rules

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Man Rules

Postby RAFSB » Sun Oct 15, 2017 3:27 pm

This man was tired of following all the rules that were set and decided by his wife. So he decided to make his own rulebook.

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys’ side of the story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear ” the rules”
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered “1 ”
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT minded readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl.
If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports
It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No
are perfectly acceptable answers
to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago
is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments
become Null and void after 7 Days.

1 If you think you’re fat,
you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said
can be interpreted two ways
And if one of the ways
makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us
to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know
best how to do it,
just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible,
Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus
did NOT need directions
and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors,
like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit,
not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauvely is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong
and you say “nothing,”
We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle. < br>

1. If you ask a question
you don’t want an answer to,
Expect an answer
you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine… Really .

1. Don’t ask us
what we’re thinking about
unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics
as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.
Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know
men really don’t mind that?
It’s like camping.
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Re: Man Rules

Postby yancovitch » Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:35 pm

not bad at all :mrgreen:
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Re: Man Rules

Postby napamule » Sun Oct 15, 2017 7:14 pm

Woop - there it is! 30 years of (my) married life all 'wraped' up in '1' statement! Brilliant! I resemble that remark! Or, sad but true, or, funny, but true.
Chuck B
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(I know you are just joking. You can't change how 'things' are (with this 'poem') -OR- spots on a leapard or stripes on a zebra.)
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Re: Man Rules

Postby Hawkeye07 » Sun Oct 15, 2017 8:26 pm

This is the best "rules" I've ever read. Outstanding!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Image

An Aircraft Mechanic only needs two tools, Duct Tape and WD40.
If it moves and it's not supposed to - use the Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and it's supposed to - use the WD40.

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Re: Man Rules

Postby Shadowcaster » Mon Oct 16, 2017 12:18 am

Very wise words indeed. :clap: :clap: :lol: :lol:

Cheers
Rich
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Spike Milligan
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Re: Man Rules

Postby Fozzer » Mon Oct 16, 2017 2:49 am

Been there...

....got the Tee-Shirts for each occasion....

...but not anymore .... ;) ....

All peace and quiet now!

....and I'm not in my Coffin..... yet!

Paul.... :lol: ....!
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Re: Man Rules

Postby Apex » Tue Oct 17, 2017 6:53 am

Very good. Yep, yep, yep, been there, done that. Too many times.

That's what beer, pretzels, and sports are for. Beer to cry in, pretzels for supper, and sports to get us away from it all.

And yeah, when I itches, I scratches.
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Re: Man Rules

Postby Shadowcaster » Tue Oct 17, 2017 8:06 am

The alternative i.e. the real world.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj4vLZJhNEk[/youtube]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj4vLZJhNEk


Cheers
Rich
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Spike Milligan
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Re: Man Rules

Postby Tug002 » Tue Oct 17, 2017 8:54 am

:clap: :clap: Best thing I have read in days, and all true! :clap: :clap:

Keep smiling
Tug :)
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Re: Man Rules

Postby Roypcox » Tue Oct 17, 2017 11:27 am

After being married four times here is what I have learned!!! 2 things to remember when dealing with my wife 1. Say yes mam and 2. always say" thank you". When you do that they will leave you alone and then you can do as you please!!!
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