Life needs laugh sometimes
“I have decided to keep my past behind, so if I owe you money.. Sorry, I have moved on.”
“Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am awake.”
“I hate it when people ask me, ‘do you have a bathroom?’ No. we pee in the yard.”
“I am just a step away from being rich, all I need now is money.”
“I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.”
“Don’t text me when I’m in the middle of texting you. Now I have to change my whole text.”
“Brains are awesome I wish everybody had one.”
More funny quotes, have a look at
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