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Questions and Answers from my Doctor

PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 12:47 pm
by Tug002
Q : Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A : Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q : Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A : Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up!

Q : How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A : Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q : What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A : Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy : No pain...good!

Q : Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A : YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A : Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q : Is chocolate bad for me?
A : You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q : Is swimming good for your figure?
A : If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q : Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A : Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember :
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

Keep smiling
Tug :)

Re: Questions and Answers from my Doctor

PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 1:05 pm
by Anthindelahunt
You have a very balanced view on life Tug. :dance:

Your Credo should be taught to the power hungry
Doctors,who tell us what to do,so we live a few
days longer. :naughty:

You are a very wise man.... :mrgreen:

Anthin. :shifty:

Re: Questions and Answers from my Doctor

PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 4:07 pm
by H
Tug, you not only need a second opinion... you need a new doctor... and your current doctor needs a doctor... like, maybe, a psychologist...

The reality of this is my hypocrisy... much less often but still drinking carbonated beverages and eating processed meats when I've found them on sale; don't like coffee plain but do use it to flavor my creamer...



8-)

Re: Questions and Answers from my Doctor

PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 4:23 pm
by OldAirmail
Thanks, Tug. Very good advice.


Over many decades I've seen where one long distance runner, or marathoner, has dropped dead while running.

I don't run, and I'm still alive. Proof positive.

Re: Questions and Answers from my Doctor

PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 5:10 pm
by Anthindelahunt
I'll drink to that. :banana-linedance:

Anthin. :shifty:

Re: Questions and Answers from my Doctor

PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 7:05 pm
by napamule
Your 'Doctor' sounds very much like my Chinese doctor. He prescribed 'herbs' (ahem) for my health: ".. is a plant, and plants are good!"

Just don't ask him if flying in Flight Simulator on computer is good 'activity'. He might have you committed! :)
Chuck B
Napamule

Re: Questions and Answers from my Doctor

PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 12:29 am
by Hawkeye07
I heard about a study that was done a couple of years ago and it was determined that jogging 2 or 3 times a week can prolong your life by 6 months.
I thought about that for a while and came up with this observation: Before you start your morning jog you change into your jogging attire and are supposed
to stretch out your leg muscles. This takes about 10 to 15 minutes. Then you commence your run which on average lasts about 45 mins. to 1 hour. Then you
must shower and dress in street clothes. Time taken about 30 to 45 mins.

So possible time spent jogging totals roughly 2 hours each time.

Do this three times a week and you've expended 6.0 hours. Do this for twenty years and you've used up 6,240 hours of your life while jogging.

Now a month equals 720 hours X the 6 months of prolonged life stated in the study = 4,320 hours.

You've actually lost 1,920 hours net. which equates to 2 months and 20 days.

So I say stop jogging and enjoy the other 1,920 hours! :lol:

Re: Questions and Answers from my Doctor

PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 3:00 am
by Shadowcaster
Some very sensible advice here :think: :lol: :lol: :lol: :dance: :dance: :dance:

Cheers
Rich

Re: Questions and Answers from my Doctor

PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 3:28 am
by Anthindelahunt
You are a genious Hawkeye. :ugeek: :lol: :lol:

I'm with Rich. :shock:

Anthin. :shifty:

Re: Questions and Answers from my Doctor

PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 11:13 am
by Hawkeye07
Anthindelahunt wrote:You are a genious Hawkeye. :ugeek: :lol: :lol:

I'm with Rich. :shock:

Anthin. :shifty:


I'm not a genius Anthin, by any definition of the term. I was just looking for an excuse not to go jogging with the offspring. :lol: :lol:

Re: Questions and Answers from my Doctor

PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 1:54 pm
by Anthindelahunt
Sounds like a good excuse to me. :lol: :dance:

Anthin. :shifty: