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Not to be catatonic...

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 11:56 pm
by H
perhaps this is not so much for the humour section; A presentation was offered via the msn website and I can't help but make comment...
my responses to their statements are in green...


When your cat starts kneading you with her paws, it means that she is content. Basically, kittens learn to knead their mothers to show they’re comfortable and to help milk flow. How cute is that?
I'm not the gender to have milk flow -- and... doesn't bread get baked after the kneading?

Much like a human’s fingerprints, the ridges and bumps on a cat’s nose are totally unique to that cat. Looks like we know how we’ll be able to track any cat-based crimes in the future!
Must be why many cat burglars wear masks.

While your cat may appear to not care or recognize you when you call out to them, this isn’t totally the case. They’re very good at recognizing their owner’s voice, so if you call and they ignore you, they’re choosing to do so.
No kidding, tell us the obvious!

You might think cats only meow to communicate with other cats, but that’s not true! Their meows are indeed attempts to talk to you, but you just don’t seem to want to listen!
I was aware of this -- but look at the previous entry; tit for tat, kit for kat or whatever...

A cat might have a smaller brains than that of a dog, but that doesn’t mean they’re less intelligent. In fact, their brains are more similar to ours, which is why they often have such complex personalities.
This isn't such a surprise. I've met many a human with an obviously smaller brain.

Cats are excellent hunters. They’re also not able to taste anything sweet due to a lack of tastebuds for that sort of flavor. This is why they’re such big fans of savory meats!
Remember this when attacked by a lion -- be as sweet as you can be... and dress up as a fruit.


You might already know your cat is quite loud, but you probably aren’t aware of just how vocal she can be! Cats have strong vocal chords that let them make up to 100 distinct sounds.
You can test this -- it may go through every one of them if you don't get off its tail.

Cats are known for being independent creatures. It’s believed that domesticating them was more their doing than ours, as they realized we humans attracted all sorts of pests for them to have for dinner.
Including them... however, we'd prefer they not bring the catch of the day to our table.

Cats actually made it into space not long after we humans did. In 1963, a pair of them were sent into orbit, making “catstronauts” a potentially real-life profession for cats.
Catstronauts! Great castrations... the word is too close -- this reminds me that we must not allow cats in the shower room when things are dangling.


8-)

Re: Not to be catatonic...

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 1:36 am
by Fozzer
.... :lol: ... :lol: ... :lol: ...!

Love it @H... :D ...!

A worthy contender for the Humour Forum!

Knowing my feelings for Felines of all sorts, both big and small!.... ;) ...!

They don't like me.... :roll:....

...and I'm not too fond of them!.... :twisted: ....!

Independent creatures, with little or no time for we Humans.... :whistle: ....!

We think that they like us, but they just want us to feed them when they are feeling hungry, and they have already killed all the wild Birds in the back garden.....and emptied their Bowels on the lawn.... :? ...!

Its quite amazing how nimbly a Cat can climb a fence to escape, when it takes sight of me.... ;) ....!

Entrapment would be a Catastrophe for them....

...trust me... ;) ...!

Paul....Tuning the Cat-gut strings on my Guitar.... :whistle: ....!

Re: Not to be catatonic...

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 4:15 am
by bigcav
Fozzer
As far as cats are concerned you don't pussyfoot around!
Mind you they can give your life purr-pose!
bigcav
:animals-cat:

Re: Not to be catatonic...

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 7:41 am
by H
Fozzer wrote:They don't like me...
and I'm not too fond of them!...
I'm sure they're aware of your great concern for them. Actually, I'm somewhat an individualist, myself, thus my interaction with others, including other species, is per individual. Most canines, even a couple wolves, have been friendly with me -- only a few were, aggressively, not. Other than house cats, the only other felines that allowed me in near proximity were cougars -- and we still mutually kept ample distance (yet, although they knew they were safe, they were way too close for me to get far if they'd had a mind to it). However, many house cats have gotten on my lap, rubbed against my leg or meowed to me upon first meeting, sometimes to the amazement of their owners; some avoided me but none were aggressive like those few dogs. Two of the cats we had on our farm make me a bit curious about the mention that they haven't the taste buds for sweetness; the one that liked lettuce isn't such a surprise in this and he wouldn't touch raisins; however, the other cat wouldn't touch lettuce but he liked raisins.

Fozzer wrote:We think that they like us, but they just want us to feed them when they are feeling hungry, and they have already killed all the wild Birds in the back garden.....and emptied their Bowels on the lawn...
Once their noses made contact with their feces a few times and they and it were thrown outside (actually, we buried their feces, Foz, but not the cat), they got the message; thereafter, they'd get our attention at the door to let them out and they actually found sand or soft soil where they'd cover it themselves. Our dogs weren't allowed to remain in the house for long periods, anyway, but usually learned not to drop it on the front lawn; however, they were less accommodating in the burial ritual.

Fozzer wrote:Its quite amazing how nimbly a Cat can climb a fence to escape, when it takes sight of me...
A house cat can't match a 60mph cheetah -- nevertheless, considering the size ratio, they're quite outdoing it -- they've been clocked at over 30mph,


8-)

Re: Not to be catatonic...

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 11:08 am
by Fozzer
When it comes to animals, I'm sure that I radiate; "something"... :? ....!

Although I have owned various Cats many years ago, (always black and white), nowadays, whenever I look at one, they have the immediate desire to escape!
Calling to them, and trying to be nice to them, just doesn't work any more... :roll: ...!

The same thing applies to Dogs. (Bow-Wows).

As soon as I look at them in the eyes, they growl at me, and want to bite my leg off!

Maybe its something to do with the fact that I ride a motorcycle?.... :think: ...

They must sense it, and their natural instinct tells them that they have to chase me and eat me!... :o ....!

The only Dog that loves me to bits, is one of my Lad's Dogs; a little "Pug Dog", with a flat face and dreamy eyes, and insists that I rub his head, non-stop!....(He taps my hand with his paw/pad, if I stop!).... :lol: ...!

So....

Cats crap on my lawns and kill my wild birds, and Dogs want to devour me on sight....(and crap everywhere)... :shock: ...!

Result: I no longer keep Cats or Dogs... ;) ...!

Paul....Sorted..... :lol: ... :lol: ...!

Re: Not to be catatonic...

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 1:00 pm
by napamule
No matter where you sleep, if you have a cat, it's HIS territory you sleep in. A cat 'lets' you live in HIS territory. Even tho it is you that pays the mortgage / rent. Sorry, Maam, but that's the facts.
Chuck B
Napamule

Re: Not to be catatonic...

PostPosted: Tue Jun 06, 2017 4:50 am
by Fozzer
The War has just begun....

Trust me!...>>>

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-40168169

Cats will never win!

Paul.... :lol: ... :lol: ... :lol: ...!

Re: Not to be catatonic...

PostPosted: Tue Jun 06, 2017 6:11 am
by Sinkrate
Cats will never win!


They do here:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyl ... n-pictures

The stuff nightmares are made of!

Re: Not to be catatonic...

PostPosted: Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:23 am
by pilotwin7
Image

Re: Not to be catatonic...

PostPosted: Tue Jun 06, 2017 10:20 am
by Fozzer
It can only be an American Cat which describes itself as; ..."AWESOME!".... :o .... :o ....!

Paul.... ;) ... ;) ...!

Re: Not to be catatonic...

PostPosted: Tue Jun 06, 2017 11:38 am
by Sinkrate
It can only be an American Cat which describes itself as; ..."AWESOME!


Judging by the size of it, I think you're about right!

Wherever that is, the pigeons aren’t very accurate; that one’s missed twice! :lol: