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Great Quotes

PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:38 pm
by Tug002
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500."
Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille Paglia

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (FormerUS First Lady)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams


"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked !"
Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams

"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
��Joan Rivers

Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.
Steve Martin

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-..aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life.
Elmo Phillips

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns

Keep smiling
Tug :)

Re: Great Quotes

PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 10:24 pm
by WPadgett
I've seen a couple of those but most are new to me. Some gems there.

Attended a Phyllis Diller show in Reno. One of her gags was: I'm so flat chested I had to get a tattoo on my chest which said, "In case of rape, this side up.

CP ASMEL Instruments

Re: Great Quotes

PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 11:04 pm
by Shadowcaster
Some real gems there. :clap: :lol: :lol:

Although probably apocryphal I still love this one

Supposedly Bessie Braddock encountered an intoxicated Winston Churchill and said “Sir, you are drunk.” He replied:
And you, Bessie, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still be ugly.

Re: Great Quotes

PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2015 2:58 am
by Fozzer
..... :lol: ... :lol: ... :lol: ...!

A wonderful start to a dull, wet, miserable Friday Morning!.... :dance: .....!

Paul.... :lol: ....!

Re: Great Quotes

PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2015 4:32 am
by Webb
May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young,

― Bob Dylan

Re: Great Quotes

PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2015 11:43 pm
by Hawkeye07
shadowcaster wrote:Some real gems there. :clap: :lol: :lol:

Although probably apocryphal I still love this one

Supposedly Bessie Braddock encountered an intoxicated Winston Churchill and said “Sir, you are drunk.” He replied:
And you, Bessie, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still be ugly.


Another alleged quote from Winston Churchill... A woman came up to him and said "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
to which he replied "Madam, if I was your husband I'd drink it!" :lol: :lol: