Weakly, he managed opening it and - poof - out sprung a genie.
"Hello," she greeted, "I am the IRS genie! I'm authorized to grant you three wishes."
"I know I can't think clearly," he responded, "but I know there must be some catch."
"Wish for whatever you like" the genie informed, "but think carefully about it. You're without transportaion in a hot desert."
"You're right, what have I to lose? OK, I wish for an oasis with plenty of food, drink and water."
Suddenly they were in an oasis with a fountain of clear water gushing, platters of fruit and other delicacies and bottles of soft drinks and wine.
Barely believing his eyes, he then said, "I wish to be rich, richer than I've ever dreamed!"
Suddenly, the oasis was covered with stacked chests of gold, gems and coins.
"I c-c-can hardly believe this! I need to share this..." the old fellow pondered, "I wish to be the object of need for beautiful women wherever I am!"
Immediately, poof, the old cowboy was transformed into a tampon...
If you're expecting a moral, never mind -- don't expect government agents to work with morals...
... 
