1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work
boots.
2.Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo
Magazine.
3.Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4.Leave a note on your door that reads:
Bubba:
Big'un, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls – they attacked the mailman this morning
and messed him up bad.
I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
Cooter
Keep smiling
Tug
)
...!
