Open Mouth- Insert Foot

[Hagar]

I remembered the name of that comedienne. Hylda Baker. http://www.dollsoup.co.uk/nellie.htm
One of her sayings was: "Hello, I dont think you've had the pleasure of me yet!"

You're quite correct. They're called Malpropisms after Mrs. Malaprop in "The Rivals". Here's some more examples. http://www.fun-with-words.com/mala_malapropisms.html

[Woodlouse2002]

Thought so.

[terbert]

Struth Doug, you are going back now!!!

Remember her with Jimmy Jewel!!!!

Wait for the replies....Who?

Tony

[Hagar]

Struth Doug, you are going back now!!!

Remember her with Jimmy Jewel!!!!

Wait for the replies....Who?

Tony

Well, I am of that generation. They don't make 'em like that any more.

Just for the record, a Spoonerism is slightly different, Getting letters in words mixed up. Example: It's roaring with pain (It's pouring with rain)
http://www.fun-with-words.com/spoonerisms.html

[terbert]

Excuse my ignorance, Doug, but what is dislexic. Don't know on spelling but I think you will get the drift.

Is this not what people suffer?
Tony

[Woodlouse2002]

I've just remembered one that my Biology teacher dropped last year...

"The cow is a lean, mean fermenting machine on wheels."

[Hagar]

Excuse my ignorance, Doug, but what is dislexic. Don't know on spelling but I think you will get the drift.

Is this not what people suffer?
Tony

I don't know much about it but I think dyslexia is a medical condition where words look all jumbled up making reading difficult. Malapropisms might be be a mild form of it but I doubt it. More like not knowing the correct word. I think Spoonerisms were originally deliberate.

[Woodlouse2002]

Excuse my ignorance, Doug, but what is dislexic. Don't know on spelling but I think you will get the drift.

Is this not what people suffer?
Tony

A Dyslexic is a being who has certain trouble with learning, such as reading, writing, maths etc. The irony being is a common trait of dyslexia is not being able to spell... Now, ask a dyslexic person to spell dyslexia.

[terbert]

thnask fro htat Duog, si thsi waht ouy maen.

This is not sarky, just trying to sus it out. There is NO insult meant to any individual.
A lad I knew had this problem and I never did know what it was.
Tony

[Hagar]

thnask fro htat Duog, si thsi waht ouy maen.

This is not sarky, just trying to sus it out. There is NO insult meant to any individual.
A lad I knew had this problem and I never did know what it was.
Tony

Quite possibly Tony. I really can't imagine what it's like. I think Woody is correct, it's not just reading. It must be terribly frustrating as many people suffering from dylexia are apparently very intelligent. Until the condition was recognised they were accused of laziness & not trying.

[terbert]

I have often said my wife is dyslexic, but obviously this is not the case.

Have you heard the terminology when someone is mad, they are said to go apesh*t, not the wife...they go awol
And also....'Be quiet, I am trying to concecrate'  ;D
Funny, my Great Aunt also said this!!!

Tony

[eno]

Dyslexia ............ or word blindness.
Persons with the problem have difficulty reading and writing.
Words become jumbled and unreadable ..... numbers can be transposed. Some dyslexics can be "cured" by having special coloured glasses made which stop words and numbers jumping about the page. It is commonly misdiagnosed as a learning difficulty, which in a way it is. However it  can be overcome if properly diagnosed. There are loads of famous persons who are dyslexic ........ including many actors. I just can't remember any off the top of my head. Its late and I'm piddled.
cheers
eno

[Woodlouse2002]

Your wife sounds like the source of innocent laughs that so many people at school have become.

[terbert]

Thanks Doug and Eno (know the feeling mate)
Yes Woody, she is a bundle of laughs. I love her to bits, but by Christ, has she dropped me in it over the years
I cringe every time she opens her trap when we are company. I tell you chaps, if you have a wife like mine, there is never a dull moment!!!!!
They say Dumb Blonde...my wife is brunette... and if I posted pics of her when we got married, I suspect a few tongues dragging the floor.
Tony

[eno]

A flatmate of mine brought some of her friends back after a night on the town. Four of them bundled into the kitchen on the hunt for munchies. Having not done the weekly shop there wasn't much of any use in the cupboards. My flatmate switches on the deep fat frier and announces that she is going to make chips. (For our American friends Chips= Thickly sliced potatos deep  fried untill golden and in the best cases soggy... Instant heart attack stuff. What you call Chips ... we call Crisps.) To which an annoucement flies across the kitchen that there were none in the freezer and all they could find was a bag of potatos.
I sat in the livingroom creased up with laughter. The girl who made the announcement couldn't understand why everyone else was falling about on the floor. It seems that this girl was particularly nieve about the world ..... the sort that didn't realise that milk came from cows etc.