Military warnings...

What are you laughing at?

Military warnings...

Postby ATI_7500 » Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:05 pm

ATI_7500
 

Re: Military warnings...

Postby Romulus111VADT » Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:34 pm

They are all very true...lmao

The dumbest one I ever saw was in the back of a field manual. It said, "This page intentionally left blank". By virtue of the words being on it, the page was no longer blank.  ::)

I know if you fall and hit the butt of a M-79 Thumper on the ground with the safety off, it will discharge the round. I was trying to get a good angle on a machine gun nest once. I fell flat on my face and the butt of the M-79 hit the ground and it discharges straight up into the air. I looked up and all I could say was "Oh, SH_T!" The round hit the nest dead center and blew it all to hell....lmao. It was the best shot I ever made with a thumper. My men were all laughing their butts off at me and one made the comment that if I'd aimed it, I would have missed for sure.

;)
Former member
Romulus111VADT
Major
Major
 
Posts: 4898
Joined: Thu May 02, 2002 7:48 am

Re: Military warnings...

Postby BFMF » Wed Jun 13, 2007 1:31 pm

lol, never tell your leadership that you have nothing to do... ;D
BFMF
Colonel
Colonel
 
Posts: 16266
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2002 6:06 pm
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Military warnings...

Postby Omag 2.0 » Wed Jun 13, 2007 1:48 pm

I love the one about the B-52!

Cluster- and carpetbombing... pinpoint-precision with a 200% margin of error... LOL!
[center]
Image

Check my aviation-photo's at www.airliners.be

Or go straight to Omag's Album[/cent
User avatar
Omag 2.0
Lieutenant Colonel
Lieutenant Colonel
 
Posts: 9490
Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2003 6:43 am
Location: Somewhere, Belgium

Re: Military warnings...

Postby expat » Wed Jun 13, 2007 7:14 pm

They are all very true...lmao

The dumbest one I ever saw was in the back of a field manual. It said, "This page intentionally left blank". By virtue of the words being on it, the page was no longer blank.  ::)  ;)


A fare few years ago whilst on a 737 maintenance course during a lesson of death by view foil, came a slide that showed a line drawing of the nose of the aircraft. It depicted the pitot and static ports. Under the the drawing was writen:
"This is the right side of the aircraft. The other side is the left hand side of the aircraft" (They where Boeing official training slides.........scary)

Matt
"A bit of a pickle" - British translation: A catastrophically bad situation with potentially fatal consequences.

PETA Image People Eating Tasty Animals.

B1 (Cat C) licenced engineer, Boeing 737NG 600/700/800/900 Airbus A318/19/20/21 and Dash8 Q-400
1. Captain, if the problem is not entered into the technical logbook.........then the aircraft does not have a problem.
2. And, if you have time to write the fault on a napkin and attach to it to the yoke.........you have time to write it in the tech log....see point 1.
User avatar
expat
Lieutenant Colonel
Lieutenant Colonel
 
Posts: 8679
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:06 am
Location: Deep behind enemy lines....

Re: Military warnings...

Postby Mushroom_Farmer » Thu Jun 14, 2007 2:50 am

Does the U.S. Army still use cartoon drawings as visual aids in their training manuals? Oh, and one of my brothers is on a mine sweeper and while in the Persian gulf one of the othe mine sweepers did get too close to a mine once........and only once.

(And lastly) "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." - Unless he/she is a nuclear bomb technician in which case running is generally just exhausting.   ;)  :D
Image

"We're just sitting here trying to put our PCjrs in a pile and burn them. And the damn things won't burn. That's the only thing IBM did right with it - they made i
User avatar
Mushroom_Farmer
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1633
Joined: Fri May 26, 2006 11:54 pm
Location: Indiana, USA

Re: Military warnings...

Postby john_uk » Thu Jun 14, 2007 7:17 am

hahaha, my cadets soon learnt not to tell me they where bored. always toilets needed cleaning or the parade square sweeping, or worst yet picking leaves and twigs out of the camo nets :P

lol nice story romulus, your men had a point, if you had aimed you would of missed :P
john_uk
 

Re: Military warnings...

Postby Romulus111VADT » Thu Jun 14, 2007 10:07 am

lol nice story romulus, your men had a point, if you had aimed you would of missed :P


I was like the third best shot with a thumper in my squad. I just happened to be humping it that day.

The guy that was the best shot could blow the cahonies off a groundhog at 200 meters. The second best shot could hit generally with in a meter or so of his target.

Me....lmao....I could generally get the round within 3-5 meters normally (that's close enough to ring most anyones bell), but I had my moments of brilliance every so often. Unfortunately, those moments were not often enough to be classified as skill....lmao. The hit I described above was the only "Direct Hit" I ever did....lmao. I didn't see the actual impact, but my buddies swore up and down the round hit the machine gun itself. I have no idea?

Image
M-79 40mm grenade launcher

FYI- The 40mm grenade has a lethal radius of 5 meters and it effective range is 350 m (383 yds), Maximum range 400 m (437 yds).

:)
Former member
Romulus111VADT
Major
Major
 
Posts: 4898
Joined: Thu May 02, 2002 7:48 am

Re: Military warnings...

Postby BFMF » Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:10 pm

Almost forgot about the one about tracers. It's true, because I saw the tracer rounds as they were being shot at me.

I'm sure Romulus will agree ;)
BFMF
Colonel
Colonel
 
Posts: 16266
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2002 6:06 pm
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Military warnings...

Postby Romulus111VADT » Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:50 pm

Almost forgot about the one about tracers. It's true, because I saw the tracer rounds as they were being shot at me.

I'm sure Romulus will agree ;)


Yep, that's for sure. Wasn't fond of the green tracers coming my way at all. We did fire back some pretty red tracers though, made for a real colorful light show.... ;)
Former member
Romulus111VADT
Major
Major
 
Posts: 4898
Joined: Thu May 02, 2002 7:48 am

Re: Military warnings...

Postby Theis » Thu Jun 14, 2007 2:03 pm

Almost forgot about the one about tracers. It's true, because I saw the tracer rounds as they were being shot at me.

I'm sure Romulus will agree ;)


Yep, that's for sure. Wasn't fond of the green tracers coming my way at all. We did fire back some pretty red tracers though, made for a real colorful light show.... ;)


All you needed was some yellow tracers, and then you would had a traffic light shoot out! ;D
Image Bar by Mees
Image
User avatar
Theis
Major
Major
 
Posts: 4846
Joined: Tue Sep 14, 2004 6:16 am
Location: Denmark

Re: Military warnings...

Postby BFMF » Thu Jun 14, 2007 3:17 pm

Almost forgot about the one about tracers. It's true, because I saw the tracer rounds as they were being shot at me.

I'm sure Romulus will agree ;)


Yep, that's for sure. Wasn't fond of the green tracers coming my way at all. We did fire back some pretty red tracers though, made for a real colorful light show.... ;)


The only advantage is that the green tracers do help in spotting the location where the shooter is ;)
Last edited by BFMF on Thu Jun 14, 2007 3:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
BFMF
Colonel
Colonel
 
Posts: 16266
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2002 6:06 pm
Location: Pacific Northwest

Re: Military warnings...

Postby Romulus111VADT » Thu Jun 14, 2007 3:36 pm

Almost forgot about the one about tracers. It's true, because I saw the tracer rounds as they were being shot at me.

I'm sure Romulus will agree ;)


Yep, that's for sure. Wasn't fond of the green tracers coming my way at all. We did fire back some pretty red tracers though, made for a real colorful light show.... ;)


The only advantage is that the green tracers do help in spotting the location where the shooter is ;)


Yep and our red tracers show the bad guys where we are as well.
Last edited by Romulus111VADT on Thu Jun 14, 2007 3:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Former member
Romulus111VADT
Major
Major
 
Posts: 4898
Joined: Thu May 02, 2002 7:48 am

Re: Military warnings...

Postby a1 » Thu Jun 14, 2007 3:40 pm

Very useful. ;D ;D Some were just stupid. ::)
Image
790i : QX9650 : 4Gb DDR3 : GeForce 8800 GTX : 1 WD Raptor : 1 WD VelociRaptor 150
User avatar
a1
Lieutenant Colonel
Lieutenant Colonel
 
Posts: 7608
Joined: Thu Jan 04, 2007 9:16 pm

Re: Military warnings...

Postby BFMF » Thu Jun 14, 2007 4:14 pm

Almost forgot about the one about tracers. It's true, because I saw the tracer rounds as they were being shot at me.

I'm sure Romulus will agree ;)


Yep, that's for sure. Wasn't fond of the green tracers coming my way at all. We did fire back some pretty red tracers though, made for a real colorful light show.... ;)


The only advantage is that the green tracers do help in spotting the location where the shooter is ;)


Yep and our red tracers show the bad guys where we are as well.
Last edited by BFMF on Thu Jun 14, 2007 4:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
BFMF
Colonel
Colonel
 
Posts: 16266
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2002 6:06 pm
Location: Pacific Northwest

Next

Return to Humour

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 676 guests