BRAIN CRAMPS

[Romulus111VADT]

On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.
Question: If you could live forever, would you and Why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids
all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love
to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through
our papers. We are the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of
subpoenaed documents.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.

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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's
the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President

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"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President

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"We are ready for an unforeseen event that
may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
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"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their
heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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Feeling smarter yet?

[BFMF]

It takes all kinds...

[Romulus111VADT]

The really funny part is many of these stupid quotes are from politicians and their intellectual rivals- Actors and Actress's (w/o a script to read, they can sometimes be really brilliant)....lmao

[ctjoyce]

now all you need to add is

Anything ever said by George Bush. Speaking of which the state of the union is on tonight.

Cheers
Cameron

[Hai Perso Coyone?]

[Jared]

lol, another fine set of award winners

[Souichiro]

Are you sure that they have brains?

[Romulus111VADT]

Are you sure that they have brains?

Politicians- No  :-/

Actress's and Actors- possibly, but only when the script is near by to refer to for grammatical errors...

Mariah Carey - Definitely not  :o

Mayor Marion Barry- Burnt out of drugs  ::)

The balance is highly debatable....  ;)

[BFMF]

Are you sure that they have brains?

I dunno, but I wonder if the Miss USA contestant was blonde.

"I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever"

That was deep

[Katahu]

All politicians [democrat, republican, or independent] have brains that operate only with Windows. If even one brain cell fails, then the politicians with either crash on their desktop or just go blank [cough]blue screen[/cough]. And often, 90% of their brains fail anyways.

[ozzy72]

My favourite still belongs to GW "If our children learn to read and write they could pass a literacy test"

[Romulus111VADT]

My favourite still belongs to GW "If our children learn to read and write they could pass a literacy test"

What gets me about the vast majority of politicians and actors/actress's is the fact that 90% of them are so totally convinced of their own intellectual superiority over the masses and that they are so intellectually superior that they are blinded by the incredible stupidity that they put on display for the entire world to see and stand in utter amazement of.  ;D

[ozzy72]

But Romulus if they were actually intelligent we'd expect far more from them in terms of performance (like actually doing something to justify how much they cost) and think of all those poor newspaper cartoonists and comedians who'd have to find new work as there would be so little to do the kidney dialysis machine bit upon

[Saitek]

Good stuff Rom.

My favourite still belongs to GW "If our children learn to read and write they could pass a literacy test"

Mark- I'll rephrase that for the 21st century:
"If our children pass a literacy test they could know how to read and write."
       

[Romulus111VADT]

But Romulus if they were actually intelligent we'd expect far more from them in terms of performance (like actually doing something to justify how much they cost) and think of all those poor newspaper cartoonists and comedians who'd have to find new work as there would be so little to do the kidney dialysis machine bit upon ;D

Yep, hadn't thought of that..... ;D

I guess my beef is that they recently cut aid to 2 programs that are vital to the poor and elderly. This was done to help balance the budget. This was done in conjunction with a pay raise that was voted on and approved. They vote themselves huge pay raises!?  >:(

It should be voted on by the people who voted the greedy bastards into office, the public! If they did, they'd all receive a massive pay cut like all the other people got with down sizing because the companies can't compete with foreign labor. That and with all the jobs going overseas. ::)

I'm really beginning to hate politicians in general. To think I fought to give the bastards the right to cut my benefits. So much for all the BS promises that the recruiter gave me in WRITING! It must be nice to be able to change the rules of the game in the middle of the game. Then say "Tough $hit" adjust your life style accordingly..... >:(

You see, in the US, you can't sue the government for breaking it's promises..... ::)

Why, because their the ones that make the rules, so naturally they can break the rules!  >:(

Rant over and no I don't feel better....