Flight 1549 Captain Held Responsible......
Anonymous government sources claim the Captain of US Airways flight 1549 violated Federal migratory bird regulations by hunting geese with an A320 Airbus jetliner. New York and New Jersey WildLife officials allege Air Force veteran, and avid hunter, Chesley B. Sullenberger, was attempting to bag a gaggle of geese over the wetlands near New York's LaGuardia airport on his way to Charlotte, North Carolina.
The European A320 airliner is not certified for either waterfowl or upland bird hunting. When he realized that both New York and New Jersey State Game and Fish enforcement officers would soon be approaching, Sullenberger unsuccessfully attempted to hide the plane in the Hudson River.
National Transportation Safety Board inspectors found no Duck Stamps on the aircraft's fuselage.
As yet, Sullenberger has not been charged, but PETA is urging the government to prosecute the pilot for double-honkercide and poaching. They are expected to file a civil suit on behalf of the flock.
According to sources close to the investigation, two of the victims were undocumented Canada geese. Their gaggle-gang scandalized a Queens community by squatting in local cemeteries and golf courses, leaving unsanitary materials on the grass, and throwing noisy parties late into the night. Dogs were called out on several occasions. Such incidents have triggered a wave of anti-Canada goose sentiment, but revenge or hate-crime motives are not suspected in the US Airways bashings.
Forensic examination of the avian victims of Sullenberger's foray continues. Technicians are analyzing the dead geese under heat with chestnuts, prunes, Armagnac, and a 2005 Zind-Humbrecht Riesling from Alsace.