Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Connor an' me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little runt, O'Connor?" says Sean. "He couldn't do all that to you, man, he must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "A shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well, now," says Sean. "You should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in *your* hand?"
"That I did," says Paddy. "Mrs. O'Connor's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
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