by H » Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:34 pm
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I'm obviously not your average fellow so I may have some alternate problems with some of these.
Men are NOT mind readers but someone's mind doesn't seem to be in use for the majority of questions I'm asked, anyway. No matter what I answer your default consideration is that I'm lying.
We both need to learn to work the toilet seat. I tend to leave it up and commence my next sprinkle accordingly. If I actually discover that it's down, I will try to return it to the position I found it: imagine my surprise on my next visit for a #2 dump to find it's been cordially raised for my benifit and I grab the flusher handle to save falling all the way in -- dang, the water's cold on the butt!
Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides..
Someone evidently is making sport of the previous mentioned situation, whereas the tide below scores on my full moon.
I don't care what colors other men see, should see or how they see them.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is a vegetable... precisely, a gourd: something I'd prefer to neither go in nor out of.
I think I qualify with the rest of you on the rest aside from some variations. I think I'm a bit better prepared for the aftermath than Steve -- I hope.
Crying?
You're obviously upset that your face isn't clean so I'll get a facecloth... your face isn't THAT wet -- either utilize the face cloth yourself or stop flailing at me like you're drowning so I can do it for you.
Anything we said 6 months ago is admissible in an argument if I'm allowed to throw in everything from years ago.
If you think you're fat my not thinking so won't make a difference.
If something I said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I meant the other one; please stop trying to change my mind.
You can ask me to do something.
Just do it yourself if you already know best how to do it because I will certainly mess it up trying to do it your way.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as flying, astronomy or impending weather.
If I ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," I will assume you're not lying, it is just not worth the hassle.
If it itches, and it's on our person, it will be removed or scratched accordingly.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
Christopher Columbus may not have had the proper directions but I'm not interested in a route to the East Indies... I'm sure you'll provide the proper tickets should you wish to send me there.
Ask for what you want.. hints do not work!
What's a hint?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
I am in shape.
Last edited by
H on Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
