Sniglets

[Ravang]

SNIGLET
(snig' lit) Any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should.

CHECKUARY (chek' yew air ee)n. The thirteenth month of the year. Begins New Year's Day and ends when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his checks.

EXPRESSHOLES (eks pres' holz)n. People who try to sneak more than the "eight items or less" into the express checkout line.

BUCKLINT (buck' lint)n. The fine red and blue threads running through new dollar bills.

BUBBLIC (buh' blik)adj. Addicted to the systematic popping of the bubbles in packing material.

UNFARE (un fayr')n. The dollar you owe the cab driver before you've even moved a foot.

ELBONICS (el bon' iks)n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

CHUBBLE (chuh' bul)n. The aerobic movement combining deep-knee bends and sideward hops used when trying to fit into panty hose.

ZEBRALANE (zee' bruh layn)n. The striped area between the interstate and the turnoff lane where cars go when drivers can't decide what to do next.

SCRIBLINE (skrib' line)n. The blank area on the back of credit cards where one's signature goes.

CHAIN GANG WALK (chayn gang wok)n. Activity observed in the footwear section of cheap department stores where the shoes are wired together "for your convenience."

FURNIDENTS (fer' nih dents)n. The indentations that appear in carpets after a piece of furniture has been removed.

PERCUBURP (per' kyu berp)n. The final gasp a coffee percolator makes to alert you it is ready.

ALPONIUM (al po' nee um)n. (chemical symbol: Ap) Initial blast of odor upon opening a can of dog food.

SHUGGLEFTULATION (shug lef tuyl ay' shun)n. The actions of two people approaching, trying to get around each other, and muttering "thanks for the dance."

OPUP (op' uhp)v. To push one's glasses back on the nose.

NAPJERK (nap' jurk)n. The sudden consulsion of the body just as one is about to doze off.

SLURM (slerm)n. The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.

BARGARCS (bar' jarks)n. The streaks on a car's windshield from faulty wipers.

WONDRACIDE (wun' druh side)n. The act of murdering a piece of bread with a knife and cold butter.

COEGGULANT (ko eg' yu lent)n. The white things in a plate of scrambled eggs.

YINKEL (YIN' KUL)n. A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice.

HOUNDWOUNDING (hownd' wown ding)n. Canine act of circling a spot three or four times before settling on it.

ANTALIXIC (ant a lik' sik)n. One who passes over licorice jellybeans.

EASTROTURF (ee' stroh terf)n. The artificial grass in Easter baskets.

CHOCONIVEROUS (chahk o niv' ur us)adj. The tendency when eating a chocolate Easter bunny to bite off the head first. Or chocolate Aaron's!

ZIZZEBOTS (zi' ze botz)n. The marks on the bridge of one's nose visible when glasses are removed.

RAMPRIOT (ramp' ry uht)n. Free-for-all that erupts as soon the stewardess utters the phrase, "please remain in your seats until the plane has come to a complete stop."

ELEVERTIGO (el uh vur' tig oh)n. The sensation one experiences when an elevator stops or takes off too suddeny.

DIMP (dimp)n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"

PERMAPRESSION (pur' muh preh shun)n. The discovery that there is no real difference in the various cycles of your washing machine.

FURBULA (fer' byew luh)n. The designated chewing area on a dog's back.

RIGNITION (rig ni' shun)n. The embarrassing action of trying to start one's car with the engine already running.

YOTATE (yoh' tayt)v. To allow a yo-yo to unwind itself.

MOPEEPS (moh' peeps)n. People compelled to look through the curtain opening of your motel room as they pass by.

MUMMABOLIC CHORUS (mum uh bah' lik ko' rus)n. When three or more people are singing along to a tune and suddenly discover they are all faking their way through the unintelligible lyrics.

NEVITTS (nev' itz)n. The sandpaper-like deposits on a cat's tongue.

CHIPFAULT (chip' fawlt)n. The stress point on a potato chip where it breaks off and stays behind in the dip.

POSTALPORTS (poh' stuhl pawrtz)n. The annoying windows in envelopes that never line up with the address.

BACKSPACKLE (bak' spak uhl)n. Markings on the back of one's shirt from riding a frenderless bicycle.

RELED (ree led')v. To reset all the digital clocks in the household following a power failure.

UMBRACE (uhm' brays)n. The small strap that holds an umbrella in place.

MUMPHREYS (mum' freez)n. (a useless sniglet) Those strange extra digits you find on push-button phone.

STROODLE (stru' dul)n. The annoying strand of cheese stretching from a slice of hot pizza to one's mouth.

ZIPCUFFED (zip' cuft)v. To be trapped in one's trousers by a faulty zipper.

TIREQUILLS (tyr' kwils)n. The small rubbery prostrusions on new tires.

SPECLUMS (spek' lums)n. The minuscule bumps on a strawberry.

ROVALERT (ro' val urt)n. The system whereby one dog can quickly establish an entire neighborhood network of barking.

GUMMERATOR (bum' uhr ay ter)n. The pointed rubber object on the end of some toothbrushes.

BALDAGE (bald' aj)n. The accumulation of hair in the drain after showering.

UPULS (yu' puls)n. The blank pages at the beginning and end of books, presumably placed there so you can rewrite the ending.

EXASPIRIN (eks as' prin)n. Any bottle of pain reliever with an immpossible-to-remove cotton wad at the top.

CREEDLES (kre' dulz)n. The colony of microscopic indentations on a golf ball.

CABNICREEP (kab' nih kreep)n. The structural condition in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes nother to open.

P-SPOT (pee' spaht)n. The area directly above the urinal in public restrooms that men stare at, knowing a glance in any other direction would arouse suspicion.

BEAVO (bee' vo)n. A pencil with teeth marks all over it.

SPIRTLE (spur' tul)n. The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.

FICTATE (fik' tayt)v. To inform a television or screen character of impending danger under the assumption they can hear you.

RETROCARBONIC (ret ro kar bon' ik)n. Any drink machine that dispenses the soda before the cup.

TWINCH (twinch)n. The movement a dog makes with its head when it hears a high-pitched noise.

EUFIRSTICS (yew fur' stiks)n. Two people waiting on the phone for the other to hang up first.

UHFAGE (uff' aj)n. The unit for determining a television's age, that is, the amount of time it takes for the picture to appear once the set has been turned on.

PULPID (puhl' pid)n. A kid who enjoys the carton more than the item that came in it.

BRAZEL (brah' zul)n. The scratch plate on a matchbook.

NEGATILE (neh' guh tyl)n. An area of the bathroom floor where, somehow, the scale registers you five pounds lighter.

TEXTLICE (test' lys)n. Those tiny bugs that invade your hair when you're taking an exam.

DILLRELICT (dil rel' ikt)n. The last pickle in the jar that avoids all attempts to be captured.

OPLING (op' pling)n. The act, when feeding a baby, of opening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and making "yummy" noises, in the hope that baby will do the same.

THERMALOPHOBIA (thur muh lo fo' be uh)n. The fear when showering that some one will sneak in, flush the toilet, and scald you to death.

WOOWAD (wew' wad)n. Giant clumps of stuck-together rice served at Chinese restaurants.

BUSBLENDER (bus' blen dur)n. The device at the front of the bus that tosses your fare around for a while, then swallows it.

METHYLPHOBIA (meth il fo' be uh)n. The fear that you are going to have to pay for the one cent you over- pumped at the self-service station.

FRAZNIT (frahs' nit)n. Any string hanging from an article of clothing, which when pulled causes the article to completely unravel.

BAZOOKACIDALTENDENCIES (bah zew' kuh sy dal ten' den seez)n. The overwhelming desire of most individuals to reach out and pop the giganti gum bubble billowing from someone's mouth.

SNARGLE (snar' gul)v. To lessen the visual impact of a horror movie by filtering it through one's fingers.

MUSQUIRT (mus' kwirt)n. The water that comes out of the initial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.

BLOOAGE (blew' ij)n. The residue left on fingers after using an S.O.S. pad.

FLOPCORN (flop' korn)n. The unpopped kernels at the bottom of the cooker.

GRINTIGER (grin' tuh jer)n. The numbered code on the back of a greeting card that, when deciphered, reveals the price.

CUBELO (kyew' beh lo)n. The one cube left by the person too lazy to refill the ice tray.

PETROOL (pet' rul)n. The slow, seemingly endless strand of motor oil at the end of the can.

GRINION (grin' yun)n. The unsightly indentation in the middle of a belt when it has been worn too long.

WAFTIC (wahf' tik)adj. Describes any person in whose direction campfire or barbeque smoke always blows.

BLURFLE (bler' ful)v. To be caught talking at the top of one's lungs when the music at the bar or disco suddenly stops.

PETONIC (peh ton' ik)adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a houselold pet.

FLOTION (flo' shun)n. The tendency when sharing a waterbed to undulate for five minutes every time the other person moves.

SLOTTERY ANDVENDICATION (slot' er ee and ven' di kay shun)n. A public misdemeanor in which a person gambles on a vending machine, loses, and tries to exact revenge by kicking it.

MOZZALASTICS (maht suh las' tiks)n. Large deposits of cheese that stick to the top of the pizza box.

GLACKETT (glak' it)n. The noisy ball inside a spray-paint can.

EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz)n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the action movie who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.

ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid)adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

MOPHENES (mo' feenz)n. The semi-truck headlights that invade your motel room at three in the mornin.

FRUSTRA (frus' trah)n. The special plastic used in the manufacture of fast-food ketchup packets.

NEUTRON PEAS (new' tron peez)n. Tiny green objects in TV dinners that remain frozen even when the rest of the food has been microwaved beyond recognition.

BOVILEXIA (bo vil eks' e uh)n. The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" everytime you pass a cow.

MITTSQUINTER (mit' skwint ur) n. A ballplayer who looks into his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow the cause of the error lies there.

FRANKFLUID (frank flew' id)n. The liquid at the bottom of hot dog packages.

PHOSFLINK (fos' flink)v. To flick a bulb on and off when it burns out (as if, somehow, that will bring it back to life)

AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um)n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.

CUSHUP (kush' up)v. To sit down on a couch somehow causing to cushion next to you to rise.

BURBULATION (ber byu lay' shun)n. The obsessive act of opening and closing a refrigerator door in an attempt to catch it before the little automatic light comes on.

PEDLOCK (ped' lahk)n. The condition of a bicycle pedal wedging itself against your leg.

SURFUSING(n) - The act of pretending to read while watching TV also, or vice versa

CARPERPETUATION(n) - The act of running a piece of lint over with the vacuum cleaner at least three times, picking it up, examining it, and setting it back on the carpet to give the sweeper one last chance

THINGAMAJIGGIT(thing-ah-ma-jig-it)adj. - anything that you can't define... (eg. "Yesterday me and my friends went to see the movies and the star was holding the thingamajiggit and it was SO VERY COOL!)

DUMLOCK (dumb'lock) - The art of hitting the snooze button on your alarm clock and going back to sleep, over and over and over....

DUMLOCKARIAN (dumb'lock arian) - A person who practices the art of DUMLOCK *I'm a perfectionist at it, hehe*

[Ravang]

COMPENNVIE (comp' envy) - 1. The emotion felt when you realize a computer is not just as smart as the person using it. Its 20 times smarter. 2. The emotion felt when a computer error message continuously pops up, but no programs are affected by it. 3. The satisfaction received after taking a sledge hammer to your monitor.

COMPENNVIAN (comp'ennvian) - Someone who takes a sledge hammer to their computer monitor.

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj.
Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v.
To sterilise the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n.
The actions of two people manoeuvring for one armrest in a movie theatre.

PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n.
The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

PUPKUS (pup'kus) n.
The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.
The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n.
The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.


FURSTRATION - that instantanious moment when you realize you've misspelled a word and have to decide if you want to A) delete and type it again B) move the cursor back and fix it C) ignore it

NAPDUCATION: the stuff that you learn while you're asleep in class. usually just bits of words, half of equations.

NAPEDEXPERTS: those lucky kids who, when they get woken up to answer a problem, manage to answer it right.

MEMNANTS (mem' nents)n. The chipped or broken m&m's at the bottom of the bag.

SUPBBLING (spub' ling)v. The superhuman feat of trying to wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving" faucets at the same time.

SCANDROIDS (skan' droydz)n. The striped price codes which mysteriously began appearing on consumer products a few years ago.

DOOR SLINKY (dor slin' kee)N. The springy device attached to the back of a door that prevents the door from marring the wall.

TOASTATE (tohs' tayt)v. To impatiently pop toast up and down in the toaster, thus increasing the likelihood of burning it.

BATHQUAKE (bath' kwake)n. The violent quake that rattles the entire house when the water faucet is tured to a certain point.

POCKALANCHE (pok' uh lansh)n. Perpetual action of reaching down to pick up an item fallen from a shirt pocket, only to have another item fall out.

BIZOOS (bih zews')n. The millions of tiny individual bumps that make up a basketball.

NURGE (nerj)v. To inch closer to a stoplight thinking that will cause it to change quicker.

SNORFING (snorf' ing)n. The little game waitresses love to play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking up and asking, "Is everything okay?"

CHICLEXODUS (chik ul eks' oh dus)n. Any attempt by a gum ball to sneak out of the chute and roll past the buyer.

TILE COMET (tyl kom' it)n. Any streamer of toilet paper attached to your heel as you emerge from a public restroom.

UNIPEA (yew' ni pee)n. A peanut with only one compartment.

BLITHWAPPING (blith' wap ing)v. Using anything but a hammmer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes , lamp bases, doorstops, etc.

DASHO (da' show)n. The area between a car's windshield and dashboard, where coins, pencils, etc cannot be humanly retrieved.

JAVA-VU (jah' vah-voo)n. Phenomemon of constantly adjusting the sugar/cream level of your coffee to your liking, only to have a waitress come along and ruin it again.

BACKSPUBBLE (bak' spuh bul)n. Dishwater that disappears down one drain of a double sink and comes up the other.

McMONIA (muk moan' ee uh)n. (chemical symbol: Mc) Noxious gas created by fast-food employee mopping under your table while you're eating.

ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun)n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.

STRUMBLE (strum' bul)n. That invisible object you always pretend made you trip, when it was actually your own stupid clumsiness.

SUCCUBEEBISH (suk yu be' bish)n. The gelatinous substance found surrrounding canned hams and vienna sausages.

CELLOSTATIC (sel oh stat' ik)adj. The electrical property of cracker and cigarette wrappers that causes them to stick to your hand.

BUTTNICK (but' nik)n. The crevice on an ashtray where the cigarette rests.

TWINKIDUE (twin' kee dew)n. The residue on the inside of the wrapper that every junk food addict eventually gets to.

GANGLOOT (gan' glewt)n. Person who leaves all his ski passes on his jacket just to impress people.

CHEERIO-MAGNETIZATION (cheer ee oh mag net i zay' shun)n. The tendency of the last four or five cheerios in the bowl to cling together for survival.

DRYLOWGRAPHS (dry' loh grafs)n. Strange, unintellibible symbols that accompany the washing instructions on clothing labels.

DOGNUT (dawg' nut)n. The giant nut on the side of a fire hydrant.

SCHNUFFEL (shnuf' ul)n. A dog's practice of continuously nuzzling your crotch in mixed company.

BANECTOMY (bah nek' to mee)n. The removal of bruises on a banana.

NERKLE (nur' kel)n. A person who leaves his Christmas lights up all year.

MAGNIPHOBIA (mag ni fo' be uh)n. The fear that the object in the side mirror is much much closer than it appears.

SCHLATTWHAPPER (shlat' wap ur)n. The window shade that allows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second, then snaps up in your face.

FLUGGLING (flug' ul ing)v. The dangerous practice, in a darkened room, of using one's finger to guide the end of an electrical plug into a wall socket.

CLUMFERT (klum' furt)n. The invisible extra step at the top and bottom of a staircase. Usually materializes when one is carrying a large bag of groceries.

RICEROACH (rys' rohch)n. The burnt krispie in every bowl of Rice Krispies.

PORKUS NON GRATIS (por' kus non grat' is)n. The scraggly piece of bacon at the bottom of the package.

XIIDIGITATION (ksi dij i tay' shun)n. The practice of trying to determine the year a movie was made by deciphering the roman numerals at the end of the credits.

TRIDECKPICK (try dek' pik)n. A miniature sword or similar device used to hold a sandwich together.

VENDOVALUEIST (ven doh val' yew ist)n. A person who inserts his change according to value (nickels, dimes, quarters.

SUBATOMICTOASTICLES (sub ah tom' ik toh' stik uhlz)n. Tiny fragments of toast left behind in the butter.

MAGNAGRAM (mag' nuh gram)n. Any sign that takes on a new meaning when a magnetic letter falls off.

XEROXPOX (zee' roks poks)n. Skin disease of copier paper, characterized by the appearance of large black powdery blotches.

GLANTICS (glan' tiks)n. Two people, who, while making out, open their eyes at the same time to see if the other is looking.

GREEDLING (gree' dling)v. Pretending to read the inscription on the birthday card when you really just want to know how much the check is for.

SCADINK (ska' dink)n. The annoying buildup of ink on the end of a ball-point pen.

NOFLET (nahf' lit)n. The upward swirl of hair found on certain individuals such as Ronald Reagan and Big Boy.

PEDAERATION (ped air ay' shun)n. Perfect body heat achieved by having one leg under the sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.

DOWNPAUSE (down' pawz)n. The split second of dry weather experienced when driving under an overpass during a storm.

SERVELENCE (surv' lents)n. The sudden lull in conversation that occurs at a table of diners when the food is served.

PELP (pelp)n. The crumbs and food particles that accumulate in the cracks of dining tables

TOILET TOUPEE (toy' lit too pay')n. Any shag carpet toilet cover that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus creating endless annoyance to male users.

MOTODRIFT (moh' toh drift)n. The mistaken belief at a stoplight that your car is moving backward when, actually, the car beside you is moving forward.

SCHWIGGLE (shwi' gul)n. The amusing rotation of one's bottom while sharpening a pencil.

BLIBULA (blih' byu luh)n. The spot on a dog's stomach which, when rubbed, causes his leg to rotate wildly.

VEGELUDES (vej' eh loodz)n. Individual peas or kernels of corn that you end up chasing all over the plate.

ZIPPLE (zi' pul)n. A broken poptop on a beer or soda can.

TUBSWIZZLE (tub' swib zuhl)v. To slide oneself back and forth in the bathtub in order to mix the too hot water with the cooler water.

UMBILINKUS (uhm bih link' us)n. The tiny appendage at the end of a link sausage.

RUBBAGE (rub' bij)n. Large pieces of truck tire found on the side of the road.

IGNISECOND (ig' ni sek und)n. The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain is saying "my keys are in there!"

PUPSQUEAK (puhp' skweek)n. The sound a yawning dog emits when it opens its mouth too wide.

SLOOPAGE (slu' paj)n. The tendency of hot dogs, hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their covers.

[Mushroom_Farmer]

I love sniglets! Too bad they don't do that bit on SNL any more.