From an email.
Cat Lover or not, this is funny.......
We've all had trouble with our animals, but I dont think anyone can top this story.
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.
On one recent occasion, I did have a valid reason but lied anyway because the truth was just too humiliating. This time, I simply said I had sustained a head injury and hoped that I would feel well enough to come in the following day.
By then, I thought that I might have been able to work out a credible reason to explain the bandage on my head.
The accident had occurred partly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitten. To start with, the new kitten was no problem.
Then one morning, while I was having my shower after breakfast, I heard my wife call out to me from the kitchen.
'Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come and reset it for me.'
'You know where the button is,' I called, through the sound of the shower. 'Cant you wait till I've finished having my shower? You do know how to reset it yourself.'
'But I'm scared,' she persisted, 'what if it starts going and sucks me in?' There was a meaningful pause and then she added, ' Come on, it'll only take you a second.'
So I turned off the shower and came out dripping wet and naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I saw her behaviour as unnecessarily impatient as well as extremely cowardly.
I sighed loudly, squatted down and stuck my head under the kitchen sink to find the button. It is the last action that I can remember performing.
It struck without warning, and without respect to my circumstances. No, it wasnt the disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitten, who had noticed the fascinating dangling objects she saw hanging between my legs.
It seems that she had been stalking me down the hall - and then - as I reached under the sink at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I had unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.
I lost all ability to control bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with the 'fight' or 'flight' syndrome. I now know from experience that Men, in this predicament, choose only the 'flight' option.
I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully got in the way.... and I was knocked unconscious.
When I came round, my wife and the paramedics stood round me. Now there are not many things more embarassing than findng oneself lying on the kitchen floor, stark naked in front of a group of 'been-there, done-that' paramedics who - having been fully briefed by my wife - were trying very hard not to laugh while they did their work ... but not succeeding.
Somehow, I got through it all and a few days later, I was well enough to return to the office. There, though colleagues tried to coax an explanation from me about my head injury I kept silent, claiming that it was too painful to talk about, which it was.
'What's the matter?' they asked, adding, 'cat got your tongue?'
If they only knew, I'd never hear the end of it.
Simviation Forums
Flight Simulator and other chat
...!
...!
