A teenager gets a job at a grocery store, and comes across a man who wants to buy half a lettuce. The teenager says, "I don't think I'm allowed to sell you half a lettuce. Why don't you just buy a whole one?"
The man say, "I don't need a whole one, only half one. Look, just let me talk to the manager."
So the teenager goes off to get the manager: "Sir, there's this jerk out there who wants to buy half a lettuce." Suddenly, he notices the man standed right next to him, and without missing a beat, he adds, "and this gentleman would like to buy the other half."
After the ordeal, the manager goes to talk to his young employee and says, "I was really impressed with the way you handled that situation. Where are you from?"
"I'm from (where ever)."
"So what are you doing up here?"
"Well, I moved here because there's nothing but b!tch3s and hockey players down there."
The manager's face turns sour, "I'll have you know that my wife comes from there."
"Oh, which team did she play for?"
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