oops....

What are you laughing at?

oops....

Postby Jared » Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:23 pm

From a guys point of view......

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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Re: oops....

Postby ctjoyce » Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:58 pm

THAT IS AMAZING  ;D If only a real guy would have the balls to do that, he would be my personal idle.

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Re: oops....

Postby legoalex2000 » Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:29 pm

LOL!!! i was starting to think this happened to you. i would've had a standing ovation for you this moment. then i had to remember, this is humor... *sigh*

should've said you did it :P ;)

:)Ramos
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Re: oops....

Postby Omag 2.0 » Tue Apr 04, 2006 5:48 am

Funny fact: the 2 repliers who think the guy is a hero are 15 and 18! Any guy that's married or in a serious relationship knows this would equal removing your own "equipment" with a rusty knife and throwing it in your neighbours garden, cause you won't need it anymore... Ever...  ;D
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Re: oops....

Postby Ecko » Tue Apr 04, 2006 8:49 am

Damn, that guy just killed himself.. :P
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Re: oops....

Postby Hai Perso Coyone? » Tue Apr 04, 2006 9:19 am

That guy has balls for saying that...He's my hero ;D
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Re: oops....

Postby Mike.. » Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:11 am

[quote]Funny fact: the 2 repliers who think the guy is a hero are 15 and 18! Any guy that's married or in a serious relationship knows this would equal removing your own "equipment" with a rusty knife and throwing it in your neighbours garden, cause you won't need it anymore... Ever...
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Re: oops....

Postby flyboy 28 » Tue Apr 04, 2006 5:32 pm

Owned! ;D
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Re: oops....

Postby BFMF » Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:21 pm

[quote]Funny fact: the 2 repliers who think the guy is a hero are 15 and 18! Any guy that's married or in a serious relationship knows this would equal removing your own "equipment" with a rusty knife and throwing it in your neighbours garden, cause you won't need it anymore... Ever...
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Re: oops....

Postby Sytse » Wed Apr 05, 2006 1:46 pm

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"


Hmmm... At this stage I usually reply with the good ole NO! however... I think this guy has a better approach to the problem

Funny fact: the 2 repliers who think the guy is a hero are 15 and 18! Any guy that's married or in a serious relationship knows this would equal removing your own "equipment" with a rusty knife and throwing it in your neighbours garden, cause you won't need it anymore... Ever...

What's wrong Kris? Can't get in touch with your guardian angel?  ;D

That guy has balls for saying that

Not anymore...  :P ;D
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Re: oops....

Postby emmanuel723 » Fri Apr 21, 2006 9:20 am

Great joke keep them coming
Police think they can see me lean
I'm tint so it ain't easy to be seen
When you see me ride by they can see the glean
And my shine on the deck and the TV screen
Ride with a new chick, she like hold up
Next to the playsta
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