Adventures in Tech Support

[H]

Tech support: Now, what kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, dammit!

Customer: Hi, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor but the computer still says he can't find it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work..

Tech support: Your password is a small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter "V" as in Victor and the number 7."
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer but, every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK. What seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address but how do I get the circle around it?

Tech support: Yes, ma'am, this is Canon Tech Support. What can I help you with?
Customer: My printer isn't responding.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."

Tech support: "Okay, Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now hit the "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: P? What do you mean?
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. "P".....on your keyboard.
Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

[Souichiro]

BPB BUT VERY FUNNY!

[ctjoyce]

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

One of the best things of all time. FIREFOX Represent  8)

Cheers
Cameron

[BFMF]

lol

[Saitek]

"P" on your keyboard...!! lol - that last had to be the best.  ::)
Seen some of those before - some I hadn't.

[H]

"P" on your keyboard...!! lol - that last had to be the best.

Could have been worse. There's a moment of waiting, then the Tech hears a scream over the phone (like when someone soaks an electric fence).

But that kind of reminds me of when I recently bought a ready-made salad but didn't take any dressing. The cashier looked at me, "No dressing?"
"Huh?" I said, "What's missing?" as I looked myself over, then smiled.
Then she tried to hit me!

[Ecko]