Pennsylvania Board of Health On Alcohol

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The Pennsylvania Board Of Health Has Proposed That Warning Signs
Be Placed On Booze Bottles To Tip Off Drinkers About The Possible
Perils Of Alcohol.

1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with
breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.

2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
like an asshole.

3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH
YOUR HEAD IN.

4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings
like thish.

5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss
what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office
Christmas party.

6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the
morning.

7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.

8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in
the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or
name you can't remember)

9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that
you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really
big guy named Psycho.