Tech Support

What are you laughing at?

Tech Support

Postby Iroquois » Wed Sep 29, 2004 2:38 pm

Remember seeing something like this a while ago but I think this one is slightly different.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into
all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications
such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing
3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever select

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my
favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM
and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to
delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to
uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work
on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application
"Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife
1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook
It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause
the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only
way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support
[center]I only pretend to know what I'm talking about. Heck, that's what lawyers, car mechanics, and IT professionals do everyday. ;)
The Rig:
AMD Athlon XP2000+ Palomino, ECS K7S5A 3.1, 1GB PC2700 DDR, Geforce FX5200 128mb, SB Live P
User avatar
Iroquois
Major
Major
 
Posts: 2704
Joined: Sat Nov 16, 2002 10:03 pm
Location: Ontario Canada

Re: Tech Support

Postby ChuckMajik » Wed Sep 29, 2004 2:44 pm

Funny, yet... it's been posted before.
ChuckMajik
 

Re: Tech Support

Postby Tequila Sunrise » Wed Sep 29, 2004 3:03 pm

lol  ;D
If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Thou shalt maintain thine airspeed lest the ground shalt rise up and smite thee
User avatar
Tequila Sunrise
Major
Major
 
Posts: 3431
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2002 11:59 am
Location: Glasgow Scotland

Re: Tech Support

Postby Triple_7 » Thu Sep 30, 2004 6:10 pm

lol        one of the better laughs ive had today ;D
Triple_7
 

Re: Tech Support

Postby Squeek » Fri Oct 01, 2004 4:46 pm

that is quite funny
A poet, A virtual Pilot, and a member of Civil Air Patrol. Now if only.....

Current ride, a 1972 Honda CT70 with a 3-speed transmition w/ and automatic clutch. So far i've gotten it to do 40mph.
Squeek
Captain
Captain
 
Posts: 653
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2003 5:53 pm
Location: United States of America


Return to Humour

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 598 guests