:Q: How do the navy separate the men from the boys?
A: With a crowbar.
Q:Whats the difference between JFK and Bill Clinton?
A: One got his head blown off, the other was assasinated
A graduate with a science degree asks "Why does it work? A graduate with an engineering degree asks "How does it work?" A graduate with an acountants degree asks "How much does it cost?" A graduate with an arts degree asks "Do you want fries with that?"
Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend/girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks notice. There should be severance pay and they should have to find you a temp.
Divorce is having your genitles torn off through your wallet: Robin Williams
Q: Wats six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild?
A: Money
Two strangers, Tom and Phil, had been paired together for a round of golf, but the afternoon was in danger of being ruined by the slow play of two women in front n the eighth hole. Tom had suffered enough and marched towards the women to ask whether they would allow he and his partner to play through. He got half way there and sudenly turned back.
"I'm sorry", he explainedto phil. "When I got closer I realised that one of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress, will you go and talk to them instead?"
So Phil walks towards the two women. But he too stopped half-way before turning back.
"Whats the problem?" asked Tom.
"It's a small world!"
