You might be a redneck if ...
* You like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before you could walk!
* You have ever vacationed in a highway rest area.
* You check the mileage on your home.
* Your lifelong goal is to own a fireworks stand!
* When the biggest city you've been to is Wal-Mart!
* Your house include "Turn off the paved road..."
* If you have to go outside to get something from your fridge.
* You do all of your shopping at a truck stop.
* You might be a redneck if your mother has stocked up on ammo.
* You can't marry your sweetheart because there's a law against it!
* If your belt buckle is bigger than your head.
* If you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
* You go to your family reunion to meet women!
* Your high school fight song was "Dueling Banjos!
* If you use your ironing board as a buffet table.
* If you consider the fifth grade your senior year!
* When cooking, your fly swatter doubles as your spatula!
* You might be a redneck if you mow your grass and find three cars!
* If your wife yells, "Come on, move this transmission so I can take a bath!
* If your gas pedal in the car is shaped like a bare foot!
* If you think the first four words of the national anthem are, "Gentlemen start your engines!"
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