British

What are you laughing at?

British

Postby Maccers » Mon Apr 07, 2003 4:39 am

>Hope your sense of humour is alive and kicking.
>
>Very proud to be British because ...
>
>Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
>
>Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
>the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
>buy cigarettes at the front.
>
>Only in Britain ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and
>a DIET coke.
>
>Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
>the counters.
>
>Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
>and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
>
>Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
>have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
>talk to in the first place.
>
>Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in
>front of a skating rink.
>
>NOT TO MENTION...
>
>Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
>
>142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
>
>58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
>screwdrivers.
>
>31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
>fairy lights were plugged in.
>
>19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
>were chocolate.
>
>British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
>accidents.
>
>101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
>the soles of their feet.
>
>18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a jumper with a lit cigarette
>in their mouth.
>
>A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
>opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
>
>5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
>Scalextric cars.
>
>and finally.........
>
>In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
>
>RULE BRITANNIA!
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Re: British

Postby Woodlouse2002 » Mon Apr 07, 2003 11:30 am

All of those have been in 3 topics title "only in america".

Although some do apply to us some dont. All they've done is replaced the word America with Britain.

Very cheap.
Woodlouse2002 PITA and BAR!!!!!!!!

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Re: British

Postby BMan1113VR » Mon Apr 07, 2003 9:53 pm

All of those have been in 3 topics title "only in america".

Although some do apply to us some dont. All they've done is replaced the word America with Britain.

Very cheap.

yup ;D , some of thoose don't sound too british
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Re: British

Postby Oso » Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:05 pm

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling  
accidents.


I am wondering what this is all about? Sounds suggestive. Masturbation?
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Re: British

Postby Woodlouse2002 » Tue Apr 08, 2003 2:30 pm

Erm... pulling crackers... refering to the act of pulling a christmas cracker with a friend at chrismas... Nothing to do with any obcenitys. :-/
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Re: British

Postby Squeek » Tue Apr 08, 2003 4:36 pm

funny

Only in america you can be born a poor black guy and die a rich white guy. (u know who)
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Re: British

Postby Oso » Tue Apr 08, 2003 10:03 pm

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: British

Postby airvanuatu » Wed Apr 09, 2003 3:56 am

haha :D
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