Top Ten Features of the New Boeing 777

[Deputy]

10. Special emergency exit for fat guys

9. Instead of oxygen masks, bags of candy drop down.

8. Just for fun, every seat is numbered "16-D."

7. To make travel more exciting: an unfasten pants sign

6. Extra padding on the seat for American tourists returning from Singapore

5. If on-board slot machine shows 7-7-7, you get extra biscuits with dinner.

4. Flapping wings and a big quacking duck beak

3. Video cameras so passengers can prove they've joined Mile High Club

2. Every 10 minutes, cabin fills with nitrous oxide.

1. Seats twice as many as Madonna's bedroom