More about the Mrs...

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More about the Mrs...

Postby Hawkeye07 » Sat Jun 17, 2017 10:53 am

My wife suggested I get myself one of those male enlargers, so I did. She's 25 and her name is Heather.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.

Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50.
It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
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An Aircraft Mechanic only needs two tools, Duct Tape and WD40.
If it moves and it's not supposed to - use the Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and it's supposed to - use the WD40.

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Re: More about the Mrs...

Postby bigcav » Sat Jun 17, 2017 2:44 pm

Love it love it love it
Bigcav
:clap: :dance: :lol:
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Re: More about the Mrs...

Postby Fozzer » Sat Jun 17, 2017 2:50 pm

.... :lol: ... :lol: ... :lol: ...!

Fantabulous!.... :dance: ...!

Paul... :lol: ... :lol: ...!
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Re: More about the Mrs...

Postby Anthindelahunt » Sat Jun 17, 2017 3:12 pm

I'll have what he has. :o

What would they call me?I'm 71. :naughty:

Anthin...Using a magnifier to find it.. :shifty:
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Re: More about the Mrs...

Postby Fozzer » Sat Jun 17, 2017 4:23 pm

Anthindelahunt wrote:I'll have what he has. :o

What would they call me?I'm 71. :naughty:

Anthin...Using a magnifier to find it.. :shifty:


...maybe you need; Heather, Anthin?.... ;) ...!

Its all just a distance memory for me, now... :whistle: ...!

Paul... :lol: ... :lol: ... :lol: ...!
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Re: More about the Mrs...

Postby Anthindelahunt » Sat Jun 17, 2017 5:30 pm

At least Fozzer you have a distant memory.
I can't even remember what I was trying to remember. :lol: :lol:

Btw.I am thinking of trading in my magnifier for a
microscope. :character-tweety:

Anthin...Away with the fairies. :hand:
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Re: More about the Mrs...

Postby Hawkeye07 » Sun Jun 18, 2017 12:23 am

Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already.

How do you turn a fox into an cow? Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.
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An Aircraft Mechanic only needs two tools, Duct Tape and WD40.
If it moves and it's not supposed to - use the Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and it's supposed to - use the WD40.

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Re: More about the Mrs...

Postby Fozzer » Sun Jun 18, 2017 2:02 am

.... :lol: ... :lol: ... :lol: ...!

The Ultimate Deterrent.... ;) ...!

Marriage:
The number one cause of divorce. The end of dating. The end of your sex life.

....the end of most things that you enjoy...

Paul..... :lol: ...!
Win 8.1 64-bit. DX11. Advent Tower. Intel i7-3770 3.9 GHz 8-core. 8 GB System RAM. AMD Radeon HD 7700 1GB RAM. DVD ROM. 2 Terra Byte SATA Hard Drive. Philips 17" LCD Monitor. Saitek Cyborg X Fly-5 Joystick. ...and a Briggs and Stratton Petrol Lawn Mower.
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Re: My jokes

Postby Anthindelahunt » Sun Jun 18, 2017 2:19 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I am not eating at the moment.My keyboard
is safe. :dance:

Anthin...Trying to stop laughing. :happy-smileyinthebox:
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Re: More about the Mrs...

Postby napamule » Sun Jun 18, 2017 2:50 am

I keep marrying younger women. I got marrier three times. And they were all good housekeepers. Next time I marry I will make her sign a pre-nup because I intend on KEEPING the house I got now!! 8-)
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