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So everything was going swimmingly this morning, no problem leaping out of bed and being full of the joys of early-o'clock. Wasn't disturbed whilst in the bathroom with shouts of "Daddy, I need the loo!" whilst enjoying my shower.
Got out of the house 4 mins ahead of schedule, the traffic just parting like I was Moses of the tarmac. Half way to work I'm pottering round a roundabout at 5mph when part of my brain alerts me to the fact the back end of the car is sliding. Then the infamous "wop, wop" of ye olde flat tyre begins. Pull over, curse a little, whip out the beautiful brand new spare tyre from the boot ready for fitting....
That is when I discover the engineer who previously had the car had not only pinched the parcel shelf but also the toolkit!!!
Cue Basil Fawlty moment of cursing and thrashing the Astra with branches off the nearest tree. Then discover someone has also pinched the AA card so I can't ring them
An hour later after several phone calls to the office and AA a nice man turned up with a jack and a suitable spanner to help me change the wheel.
Not the most auspicious start to a day ever.... but you've gotta laugh

What a crazy day! 

..you also didn't mention the latest Force 10 Gale and torrential rain in SE England that occurred during this roadside repair/rescue, at the time... ...!

Paul... ...!

Actually Paul it was blue skies and a wee breeze. Would have been a nice place to breakdown if it wasn't for the dual carriageway loaded to the max with lunatics on a caffine high and lorries thundering past.
I did contemplate going and throwing things at the cows in the field staring at me but I thought seeing how my luck was going I'd probably tread in something unpleasant or rip my jeans climbing the fence or something

Actually Paul it was blue skies and a wee breeze. Would have been a nice place to breakdown if it wasn't for the dual carriageway loaded to the max with lunatics on a caffine high and lorries thundering past.
I did contemplate going and throwing things at the cows in the field staring at me but I thought seeing how my luck was going I'd probably tread in something unpleasant or rip my jeans climbing the fence or something

You were lucky... ...

It seems the rest of Great Britain have been battening down the hatches over the last few days against stormy winds (mini-Hurricane) sent to us from the South Atlantic...
It rustled a few leaves in my back garden!... ....!

Paul...all quiet now...(and my trusty gas oven is enjoying roasting some sausages for Dins in a minute).... ...!

P.S...Cows = Steak Pie... ...!

I did resist the urge to shout "McDonalds" at the cows... I went in for flagellating the car instead

So everything was going swimmingly this morning, no problem leaping out of bed and being full of the joys of early-o'clock. Wasn't disturbed whilst in the bathroom with shouts of "Daddy, I need the loo!" whilst enjoying my shower.
Got out of the house 4 mins ahead of schedule, the traffic just parting like I was Moses of the tarmac. Half way to work I'm pottering round a roundabout at 5mph when part of my brain alerts me to the fact the back end of the car is sliding. Then the infamous "wop, wop" of ye olde flat tyre begins. Pull over, curse a little, whip out the beautiful brand new spare tyre from the boot ready for fitting....
That is when I discover the engineer who previously had the car had not only pinched the parcel shelf but also the toolkit!!!
Cue Basil Fawlty moment of cursing and thrashing the Astra with branches off the nearest tree. Then discover someone has also pinched the AA card so I can't ring them
An hour later after several phone calls to the office and AA a nice man turned up with a jack and a suitable spanner to help me change the wheel.
Not the most auspicious start to a day ever.... but you've gotta laugh

I've also learned the hard way, when buying a used vehicle check for the jack and toolkit.  More often than not, they've been taken.

So everything was going swimmingly this morning, no problem leaping out of bed and being full of the joys of early-o'clock. Wasn't disturbed whilst in the bathroom with shouts of "Daddy, I need the loo!" whilst enjoying my shower.
Got out of the house 4 mins ahead of schedule, the traffic just parting like I was Moses of the tarmac. Half way to work I'm pottering round a roundabout at 5mph when part of my brain alerts me to the fact the back end of the car is sliding. Then the infamous "wop, wop" of ye olde flat tyre begins. Pull over, curse a little, whip out the beautiful brand new spare tyre from the boot ready for fitting....
That is when I discover the engineer who previously had the car had not only pinched the parcel shelf but also the toolkit!!!
Cue Basil Fawlty moment of cursing and thrashing the Astra with branches off the nearest tree. Then discover someone has also pinched the AA card so I can't ring them
An hour later after several phone calls to the office and AA a nice man turned up with a jack and a suitable spanner to help me change the wheel.
Not the most auspicious start to a day ever.... but you've gotta laugh

I've also learned the hard way, when buying a used vehicle check for the jack and toolkit.

I don't believe anything I read in the papers unless I've had it independantly verified by someone with a brain
Makes me a tad cynical but what the heck. This is not my personal car, it is a company vehicle, the guy that had it before me was sacked for nicking computer equipment, nobody thought to check and see if he'd nicked the toolkit of the car
I just find it really funny, it could only happen to me. But hey it gave me a much needed laugh once I'd stopped swearing this morning. Everyone at work has been in stitches about it as it was just typical of Pikey to steal anything that wasn't tied down. Ah well I'll have a new tyre tonight and hopefully a jack and spanner courtesy of our car mechanic

Not sure what Fozzer's on about. It's nice & sunny with nothing more than a fresh breeze down here on the South Coast. Hardly a Force 10 gale. Don't believe everything you read in the papers.

.... ....!

I've been listening to, and watching the weather forecasts for Scotland and northern England over the past few days, and noticing the very low pressure, and very close distance between the isobars, indicating very strong winds in those areas....

...for all those South of the Midlands....I am pulling your legs... ...!

Paul... ... ...!

Mind you, it was a bit breezy in my back garden... ...!

Not sure what Fozzer's on about. It's nice & sunny with nothing more than a fresh breeze down here on the South Coast. Hardly a Force 10 gale. Don't believe everything you read in the papers.

.... ....!

I've been listening to, and watching the weather forecasts for Scotland and northern England over the past few days, and noticing the very low pressure, and very close distance between the isobars, indicating very strong winds in those areas....

...for all those South of the Midlands....I am pulling your legs... ...!

Paul... ... ...!

Mind you, it was a bit breezy in my back garden... ...!

Sounds like my day the other day Mark ....... and you can all point and laugh ..... put

I thought I shredded both of my rear tyres the other day, I came off a roundabout and heard a bit of a thump and bounce from the back-end of the car. Thankfully it was just the join between the old tarmac and the new stuff they've just laid down.

Sadly, the insurance companies still believe that I am an awful driver who will break down and crash all the time, so they charge me a tonne! 

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Sounds like my day the other day Mark ....... and you can all point and laugh ..... put