Simviation Forums

Remember that movie "A Christmas Story" and "Ralphie" Parker?

Well, growing up, I think we all experienced a "Ralphie" moment using a naughty word and getting caught dead to rights blurting it out. Whether it was an innocent slip or out of anger.

Mine was just like in the movie. The mother of all naughty words. The F dash dash dash word.

Back in the 50's this was an offence punishable by time on the rack if only the F dash was uttered. This was called vile intent punishment.

If the entire word was spoken, OMG, The Last Rights were normally given as the scourging whips were lined up for the mandatory 40 lashes.

Now my "Ralphie" moment came when I thought I was all by myself, outside and a good 50 feet from the house inside the woods. I fell and banged up my knee and let out an "Ah F dash dash dash !". The deliver was very clear, very concise, a bit of southern accent, but heard from several hundred yards. Here in was my problem. As I heard several gasps from none other than , my mom, dad, both brothers, my dads parents, and at least two sets of neighbors. My fate was sealed, I just needed to find the shovel and a nice spot to dig my grave.

My little brother was cry, "Daddy, please don't kill him!" I came up and was looking around and my mom asked me what I was doing? I told her I figured with as badly as I'd messed that up that J. Edger Hoover, The Pope, and Santa Claus had been there and heard it also. My neighbors were all laughing their ass's off by this time. My dad wasn't......got my britches dusted good that time.....lmao

LMAO good story.

I cant remember what happened the first time I dropped the F word in front of my parents, from what they told me I was about kindergarden age and came home from a friends house saying it left and right like a drunken sailor haha, I dont remember what the punishment was, I must have blacked out, and they wont tell me....

I was at a pool party...all the families and parents around the pool..

I was 8 years old... Did the big, running, extra hard, extra-high bounce of the diving board, and at about the apex of the "dive" I realized there was no chance at entering the water gracefully, and it was probably gonna hurt ... I blurted out the F-bomb..


I stayed under water until I could no longer hold my breath.. like that was gonna make it better...lol

After posting this today, my wife came home with a catalog for Christmas that had this item listed-

I about fell out laughing and said "Oh, cool, now we can put it in the front window and have electric sex like Ralphie did in the movie....lmao

I found this video is very informative about the F-word

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15Spi_U66e0

the first tiem I used the F word in front of my parents was when we were fishing, I was doing something with a knife and cut the tip of my finger off, with blood gurgling out at an alarming rate, I looked up and said "F***" before retrieving some bandages from my kreel. My dad slapped me like a girl.

I'm 25 and still won't curse in front of my parents. Not like kids today that tell their parents to F-off when told to clean their rooms, at the mature age of 8.  

Yeah as much as we curse in the military, I very rarely curse in front of my family.

Romulus...I will be seriously let down if you don't buy that lamp and post pictures of it sitting in your window  

I try not to swear/curse much, and almost never use the F-word, but I've NEVER used it around my mom.

I remember having an argument with my mum once and she hit me over the head with a frying pan she had in her hand and the handle broke off (thank goodness I've got a thick skull) and then I got screamed at for breaking the frying pan as well

I remember having an argument with my mum once and she hit me over the head with a frying pan she had in her hand and the handle broke off (thank goodness I've got a thick skull) and then I got screamed at for breaking the frying pan as well

How'd that feel..  :o

Yeah as much as we curse in the military, I very rarely curse in front of my family.

Romulus...I will be seriously let down if you don't buy that lamp and post pictures of it sitting in your window  

My wife told me when she saw the gleam in my eye that it would meet the same fate as the one in the movie......

I remember having an argument with my mum once and she hit me over the head with a frying pan she had in her hand and the handle broke off (thank goodness I've got a thick skull) and then I got screamed at for breaking the frying pan as well

My grandmother had legendary skills with a cast iron skillet....lmao....darn near mythical. She even took out a man with a handgun....lmao.....knocked his butt out cold.

At 11 or 12 I nearly got in a fight with a classmate who insisted I said "hell" when I'd actually uttered heck. The week my dad died I admitted to him that there were times I said "Son of a blank!" -- literally, blank. He said, "Well, I suppose they can fill it in however they want." The closest I've come to using your for letter word in verbal intercourse is my mother's frickin'. However, that has been a fairly recent, rare slip of the tongue next to a little more used freakin'.

...got my britches dusted good that time...

:-? Some classmates had their mouth washed out with soap -- which end were you speaking out of?

My grandmother had legendary skills with a cast iron skillet....lmao....darn near mythical. She even took out a man with a handgun....lmao.....knocked his butt out cold.

I was told that my grandfather got the pans-on-the-head when, fortunately, he was too drunk to notice. My 4' 11" grandmother laid a 6' fellow out cold with an uppercut;
"My God, _ _ _ _ _! exclaimed my grandfather, "You've killed the man!"
She replied with, "Serves him right for sticking his nose in our business!"

At 11 or 12 I nearly got in a fight with a classmate who insisted I said "hell" when I'd actually uttered heck. The week my dad died I admitted to him that there were times I said "Son of a blank!" -- literally, blank. He said, "Well, I suppose they can fill it in however they want." The closest I've come to using your for letter word in verbal intercourse is my mother's frickin'. However, that has been a fairly recent, rare slip of the tongue next to a little more used freakin'.

...got my britches dusted good that time...

:-? Some classmates had their mouth washed out with soap -- which end were you speaking out of?

My grandmother had legendary skills with a cast iron skillet....lmao....darn near mythical. She even took out a man with a handgun....lmao.....knocked his butt out cold.

I was told that my grandfather got the pans-on-the-head when, fortunately, he was too drunk to notice. My 4' 11" grandmother laid a 6' fellow out cold with an uppercut;
"My God, _ _ _ _ _! exclaimed my grandfather, "You've killed the man!"
She replied with, "Serves him right for sticking his nose in our business!"

8-)

Oh, wow, on the topic of soap, OMG, I was a gourmet, I preferred Dove, it had a good aroma and a light bouquet. I remember one horrible soap that tasted like a darn grill brick. It was grey and full of pumice. I thought my mom was trying to sand my teeth off....lmao

That guy with the gun was trying to act tough around my aunt. My grandma came off the stove with a full skillet of french fries and lamb based him. My aunt said the poor SOB never knew what hit him. She said she looked at my grandma and my grandma chuckled, "He ain't so tough!" and my aunt said, "Mama, I think you killed him!" Grandma said, "Good, serves the idiot right for bringing a gun into my house!"

My grandma was a real hoot.....