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Monkey business

PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 4:45 am
by ozzy72
From the zoo that brought you Kevin the sulking teenage colobus monkey came another tale of animals apeing all the worst in human behaviour. And this being Belfast, it ended in a shoot-out. Police have already had their hands full with pre-teen desperadoes this week, having caught a five-year old rioter in north Belfast. But yesterday officers had to go one further and open fire when a nine-year-old went nuts. But this time the little monkey was actually a chimpanzee.
The simian hooligan, called Phoebe, followed in the disreputable path taken by Kevin the colobus, who made headlines earlier in the summer when he fell out with his dad and went on the run in Belfast.
In true north Belfast fashion, he was exiled after being caught - just as errant teenagers are by paramilitaries - and was shipped off to Spain.
But when Phoebe managed to climb out of her compound yesterday using a log, and two other chimps followed her daring jail-break, police were called in to round them up. Within minutes, shots rang out and rumours swept Belfast that security forces had reverted to their bad old shoot-to-kill ways.
But officers denied firing at the chimps, which are regarded as dangerous when on the loose, and said they had fired warning shots into the air.
In another anthropomorphic twist, the chimps put their hands up and sheepishly returned to their enclosure.
The shooting incident was formally reported to the Police Ombudsman, as is required every time an officer opens fire with live ammunition.
But Nuala O'Loan's spokesman said: "At this stage we see no reason to investigate."
North Belfast has been the scene of widespread street violence in recent days and one off-duty police officer who saw what had happened said, tongue in cheek: "Chimps are clearly smarter than humans - you fire a couple of shots in the air and they surrender.
"You can fire plastic bullets and water cannon at rioters and they still throw petrol bombs at you."

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 4:50 am
by Hagar
If this is true it seems to me they need to do something about security at Belfast Zoo. ::)

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 10:13 am
by Hai Perso Coyone?
Okay... ::) ::)

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2005 2:01 am
by H
If this is true it seems to me they need to do something about security at Belfast Zoo. ::)
If the rest is true, Belfast is a zoo... or worse. ::)

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 6:36 pm
by jordonj
Is this for real?! ???

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2005 7:00 pm
by Corsair Freak
I wanna shoot a monkey.

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 2:52 am
by H
I wanna shoot a monkey.

Start your strafing run...
Image

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 2:56 am
by Hagar
I wanna shoot a monkey.

I can't think why anyone would want to do that but that's beside the point. Chimpanzees are not monkeys, they're apes.

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 3:16 am
by H
I can't think why anyone would want to do that but that's beside the point. Chimpanzees are not monkeys, they're apes.
My response was strictly for Corsair Freak. This was the best I could do on short notice -- and I intentionally typed in monkey, not ape nor primate -- and this is what I got ::). Guess they already had Corsair Freak's confused request in mind. And -- as long as he's just shooting a picture... 8)

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 3:21 am
by Hagar
My response was strictly for Corsair Freak.

As was mine. It was also a little poke at Mark. :D

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 4:36 am
by ozzy72
I thought Chimps were monkeys, gorillas and orangutans are apes for sure.....

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 5:07 am
by Hagar
I thought Chimps were monkeys, gorillas and orangutans are apes for sure.....

Glad you're not my natural history teacher. :P ;)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4204042.stm

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 5:51 am
by ozzy72
Just as well I don't teach biology then ;D

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2005 9:49 pm
by jordonj

Re: Monkey business

PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 11:27 pm
by H
Glad you're not my natural history teacher. :P ;)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4204042.stm
Actually, we can't blame Ozzy under these circumstances. Hagar supplies us with a link comparing chimpanzees to humans and jordonj provides us with a link that shows a chimp knocking off humans. I search for monkey and they supply me a picture of a chimpanzee. So what is implied here?
HELP! Chimp chumps have taken over internet information references: It's Planet of the Apes revisited! :o 8)