time to cool off?

[Craig.]

I have been speaking with a few people lately, who all have the opinion, that simv has become rather heated recently. These are regulars one who has been here a long time, and have said they are finding coming here alot less enjoyable, simply because of the arguing and in most cases general attitude of some people here. I know its summer and there are going to be more people here more of the time, but please people, could we try to keep it civil. While its been nothing major up to now, and i refuse to name names, i feel it could end up leading to problems in the near future.

[Saitek]

Your wasting your breath Craig, *bites lip* . Been there - said that.

ben

[Craig.]

yeah well, i might be. but in the end, if people want to ignore it and turn a blind eye, it's fine by me, but i wont stick around when the place goes to crap because of it.

[Felix/FFDS]

Craig, you have a good point.

[ozzy72]

One of our longer residents (been here since before me!) has walked out and I think won't return because of the behaviour of some people. Frankly I don't blame this person for leaving after the way they were treated after making such a contribution to the site, and even some of our regulars are guilty in this matter!
Remember uncle Mark is watching you...

[Saitek]

Yeah, true Craig - it is hard to isolate people and things thouhg. It is often one offs from loads of different people that gives the overall bad impression. If that is rihgt for most of the time it makes things kinda hard.

[Craig.]

And there in lies the problem. Its the minor things, that have been on going.
The whole purpose of my whining:) is not to single out anyone or get people to start naming and shaming who they think are to blame, but just as a plea for everyone to take a step back if being taunted into an argument or just to read things twice before we reply to something, that alone has cause problems, i am guilty of it myself, i come on first thing in the morning, i mis-read things and perhaps respond in an incorrect manner.

[Saitek]

yeah, we can all get a tad off hand - I guess it is often with a lesser bite given than intended. It is rare I am actually worked up sufficiently so that I am annoyed on here and I have yet to become angry with someone! My teachers at school used to say I was offhand though and they didn't like it. I think people are often more offensive here than they mean to be, not that I am excusing that though.

[Hagar]

Call me stupid if you like but I have no idea what you're going on about. I've been around here longer than most & haven't noticed any significant arguments to speak of. If anything, this place has become the most boring it's ever been. IMHO

It strikes me that a few people with strong views on certain subjects have recently been deliberately posting provocative topics & then taking offence when people give their honest opinions. I've simply given up replying to these topics & I'm sure I'm not alone. Either this is a discussion forum or it is not. You can't have it both ways.

[Hyperion2]

The issue is that there are no steadfast rules regarding certain topics.  One person says there's a zero tolerance policy in effect, then moments later another says discussing those things was never prohibited, just "strongly discouraged".

How in the world are we supposed to comply with that?

As Ben's thread addressed, there was a double standard here for a while.  One side's views were fine, but the flip side of that was immediately locked.

This is exactly the problem that I've mentioned previously, and with few exceptions, the consensus was that Hype's losing his mind and he sees something that isn't there.  (I got PMs from a few long timers who agreed.)

Then Ben came out and said the same thing.  Now Craig is saying it.  And there's even reference to a long timer who has already left.

I'm glad to know it's not me.  I really started to wonder.  Something needs to be done or the entire site will suffer.

[ozzy72]

The mods have discussed the problems and formulated a policy, zero tolerance on any discussion of our waistlines!

[Hyperion2]

On June 10, 2005 at 8:54 am one mod said:

Since so many have voiced their opinion on this, we have discussed it down in the basement and there really is no choice left.



ZERO TOLERANCE IN REGARDS TO RELIGION & POLITICS!

Then on June 11, 2005 at 11:59 am, Pete said:

Basically we don't have hard & fast rules ....
 
Politics & Religion are strongly discouraged but not banned. I have said this 100 times ........

Now today (June 29, 2005) at 2:24 pm, another mod is saying:

The mods have discussed the problems and formulated a policy, zero tolerance...

I'm not trying to be difficult, but how exactly are we to know what the limitations are when there are conflicting reports depending on which thread you happen to read?

This is the point that I've been trying to make, but no one seems to be able to answer without "stating" what the rule is...but that statement always seems to contradict what the previous statement is.

[Hagar]

The best rule is a little tolerance & common-sense combined with a liberal helping of humour. If you need to ask if it's permissible think twice about saying it in the first place. It might be best left unsaid. In any case, think about it very carefully before responding in haste. Some comments might not be as they first appear & could look quite different if you read them again later.

As I've said many times before, nobody forces anyone to read anything or reply to it. If your beliefs are strong enough a little criticism won't change your mind but neither will it do any harm. I really have no wish to know the political or religious beliefs of others. I already know far more about some members personal views than I would wish.

[Omag 2.0]

This my friends... would be the basic problem in all civilisations... how does one set up some rules that sooth everyone? I just don't know... Things like zero-tolerance ( if implied) do make this a safe place... but also a boring one...

I think it's not the rules that make the difference... It's the general attitude of the members. I am more than willing to discuss anything with anyone that has the decency to remain calm and to explain his views in a straithforward and respectfull way...

I see the "new" attitude around daily in real life to... people become more and more selfcentered.

Here's a little example: when I went to the clinic to have my wisdom-teeth removed under full anestetics ( wich freaked me out a bit) on a monday morning, no-one of the people I knew cared enough to wish me luck. Only one person sent me a message on my mobile. my collegue, who always supports me in any way. SHE's a collegue! Not even family! She cared, no-one else did! Makes you feel kinda ... alone... But she has the "oldschool" attitude, where people care about each-other without expecting something in return.

Now back to the subject, I guess people just wanna see there opinions as the truth.

That's why we see those dreathfull remarks in the contest too... People are just so jalous nowadays...

Omag... still believing there are good people out there...

[Hyperion2]

I completely agree that if you've got to think twice then it probably shouldn't be said in such a forum as this, however, if someone says something completely out of line, and there's no one around to deal with it, then why do the people who disagree with the person catch the heat.

If I could go back to an unpleasant place for a moment, the pope thread.