Page 1 of 1

Did it again...

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 6:56 am
by Flying Trucker
Goodly morning all... :dance:

As most of you know the Old Girl goes to Church every Sunday to get saved...rain, snow, sleet and hail...she goes...

Now mind you I do go for Easter, Thanksgiving, Remembrance Day, Christmas, something to do with the family like a Christening and if I know they are going to have real good salmon sandwiches... :pray:

So I tried to help the Old Girl out and now I shall be standing in the corner of the underground parking in my wee little shed for a day or two...don't figure... :liar: :shifty: :doh:


Subject: Church Ladies With Typewriters -
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
And this one just about sums them all up
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

Wish me luck folks... :violin: :whistle:

Re: Did it again...

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 9:48 am
by Fozzer
Wonderful, Doug.... :D ..!

...every one a winner!... :lol: ...!

I don't think that we English folk are much into "Churches" nowadays, so its always a breath of fresh air to know that we are not the only ones!

We built Stonehenge, instead... ;) ....

"Praying" never did us any good... :lol: ...!

Paul..."Here endeth the first lesson".... :lol: ... :lol: ...!

Re: Did it again...

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 10:23 am
by Hagar
Every one a classic! :clap: :dance:

Good luck with the Old Girl. :pray:

Re: Did it again...

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 11:06 am
by Shadowcaster
Brilliant, really cheered me up thanks. :dance: :dance: :clap: :clap: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Did it again...

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 3:19 pm
by Flying Trucker
Thanks for the replies folks...much appreciated... ;)

Re: Did it again...

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 4:05 pm
by Steve M
Nice one Doug! Made me smile. :clap:

Re: Did it again...

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 5:50 pm
by Anthindelahunt
Thanks Doug.that cheered me up on this cold
wednesday morning.

Anthin. :lol:

Re: Did it again...

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 6:45 pm
by OldAirmail
Non-stop laughter. :clap:

Re: Did it again...

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 7:31 pm
by Anthindelahunt
Just goes to prove that SimV is a nuthouse.I would
not have it any other way. :lol:

Anthin.Still laughing. :lol:

Re: Did it again...

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2015 11:01 pm
by Hawkeye07
:lol: :lol: :lol: Very good Doug! Maybe this one should be pinned and retitled "When you're feeling down or in bad humor --->READ THIS POST"

Re: Did it again...

PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 5:45 am
by Flying Trucker
Thanks for the replies folks...much appreciated...the Old Girl is letting me out from standing in the corner of my wee little shed in the underground parking but only if I behave myself and take her out for supper... :dance: :think:

Re: Did it again...

PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2015 3:21 pm
by Hawkeye07
Flying Trucker wrote:Thanks for the replies folks...much appreciated...the Old Girl is letting me out from standing in the corner of my wee little shed in the underground parking but only if I behave myself and take her out for supper... :dance: :think:



DON'T MAKE HER PAY FOR SUPPER!!!! :lol:

Re: Did it again...

PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 7:19 am
by Flying Trucker
Now you tell me Hawkeye07... :doh: :lol: