Horrified markers told how many 18-year-olds were unable to write a basic sentence.
Some wrote essays in text message shorthand, such as: "2 B or not 2 B."
The scandal is laid bare in an end-of-year report by A-level assessors with the OCR exams board.
Even A-grade pupils had sloppy English.
Common mistakes included mixing up "where" and "were".
Some wrote "fief" instead of "thief".
Also worrying was the use of TV soap slang.
One culprit wrote about World War Two: "The Gestapo 'did over' those who 'bad-mouthed' Hitler."
The three most common mistakes were "Starlin" for Stalin, "lassie fair" for laissez-faire and "economical policy" for "economic policy".
Another marker said one pupil wrote Stalin sent peasants to Serbia- instead of Siberia.
One claimed Napoleon crossed into Spain via the Philippines - instead of the Pyrenees.
A business studies examiner said: "How someone who has studied the subject for two years is still unable to pluralise 'business' is a mystery."
Bear in mind that we're expected to believe the claim that standards are high with a 96% pass rate this year. I don't find this at all surprising when 45% can get you an A grade. This is not intended as a criticism of the students as I know they work very hard. It's more an indictment of the current education system.
This comment sums up my own feelings nicely.
"If there were ever a case for the restoration of the tried and trusted exam system it's now been made convincingly."
