Aviation Rules

[Hagar]

Oh, I thought it was the one about "Always have enough fuel that you don't have to put gravity to the test"?

I think that's adequately covered by the 2nd commandment.

-Thou shall maintain thy airspeed lest the earth shall arise to smite thee

-Thou shall ensure enough fule for the same reason

Ozzy (a man with a serious zimmer frame injury)

You been assaulting Hungarian grannies again? Serves you right.....!

[Fozzer]

time to switch to fixed gear planes mr fozzer:)

LOL...!

..would you believe, it's got so bad that I have made a little sticker which I stick to the front of my monitor whenever I fly a plane with retractable wheels....>>>

[Hagar]

LOL Foz. I hope you don't have similar stickers plastered all over your bikes. I find that more than a tad scary to think about.

Before you say anything clever, I do know that motorcycles, even superbikes, don't have retracting undercarriages. Well, I'm almost certain about that. They didn't have this feature in my day anyway.

[Fozzer]

LOL Foz. I hope you don't have similar stickers plastered all over your bikes. I find that more than a tad scary to think about.

Before you say anything clever, I do know that motorcycles, even superbikes, don't have retracting undercarriages. Well, I'm almost certain about that. They didn't have this feature in my day anyway.

At the top of my stairs are two doors, side by side.
One door has a sticker on it saying "TOILET"...
The other door has a sticker on it saying "AIRING CUPBOARD"...

(There have been some unpleasant accidents in the past...)... ...!
OOpppsss...!
LOL...!

Cheers....!
Paul.

[ozzy72]

Paul are you related to my dog at all I wonder. She once couldn't tell the difference between the garden and my dads walking boots
We emptied the boots and never told my dad

[Fozzer]

The thirteenth Commandment:
"Thou shalt not crap in thy Fathers walking boots, nor pee in thine Airing Cupboard".

..otherwise you are pretty safe... ...!

LOL...!!!!

Paul.... ...!

[Hagar]

At the top of my stairs are two doors, side by side.
One door has a sticker on it saying "TOILET"...
The other door has a sticker on it saying "AIRING CUPBOARD"...

I find this even more worrying. Might one enquire as to how long one has been living in said property? I would think that one should have got used to the layout after a few weeks.

[Fozzer]

I find this even more worrying. Might one enquire as to how long one has been living in said property? I would think that one should have got used to the layout after a few weeks.

Hi Doug...
One has lived in one's property since it was first built in 1962, but as one gets older and one's mind tends to wander a little, one door looks very much like another door, with the result that one often finds oneself at the top of one's garden peeing into one's flower bed... ...!

Paul.

P.S.   one's neighbours have all got used to it now... ...!
Thank goodness... ...!
LOL...LOL...LOL...!

[Craig.]

did you by any chance, forget to wear a helmet the last time you went out on your bike Foz???

[Fozzer]

did you by any chance, forget to wear a helmet the last time you went out on your bike Foz???

No Craig... ...!
My helmet is safely in my trousers in between peeing into my flower bed.. ...!
LOL...!

Paul....(being rude again)... ...!
LOL...!

[Hagar]

It seems more than likely to me that one has been at the vino bottle again. Maybe overdoing it a touch? I would go for a lie down in a darkened room for few minutes. I find that helps clear the confusion, for a while anyway.

[Fozzer]

It seems more than likely to me that one has been at the vino bottle again. Maybe overdoing it a touch? I would go for a lie down in a darkened room for few minutes. I find that helps clear the confusion, for a while anyway.

Hi Doug.... ...!
NAH...
Sainsbury's orange juice all day today... ..!
..just my feeble attempts at being humourous... ...!
...it rarely works, I find, outside of my family... ...!
(I really must stop doing it).... ...!
LOL...!

Paul.

[Hagar]

Well Paul. I know I have a very weird sense of humour but your last few comments almost made me collapse with laughter. It actually caused physical pain. The last time I can remember that happening was while listening to the Goon Show on the ol' steam radio. I must have been about 14 or 15. If the neighbours had noticed I'm sure the men in white coats would have been knocking on the door by now.

Keep it up old chap. A good laugh is better than any tonic.

[Fozzer]

Hi Doug...!
...just between you and me, me ol' mate, I get an AMAZING amount of enjoyment out of trying to make people laugh.
Even my own postings have me rolling about the floor, but I find that the majority of it goes over most peoples heads.... ...!
I am lucky in that I have generated a family of crazy people who spend most of their time crying with laughter... ...!
...but only amongst themselves. No one else can see the funny side, which is a shame.... ...!
My longlevity is built upon laughter, and everyone else seems to take life much too seriously, which often leads to a lack of longlevity...LOL....!
...it's a rare "Fozzer" sort of thing... ...!

Paul.... ...!

P.S. I'm off to Sainsbury's tomorrow to interfere with the check-out ladies, (in the nicest possible way, you understand), and spend ages making them laugh, (much to the annoyance of Mr. Sainsbury)..... ... ... ...!

[Hagar]

I'll admit that I'm nowhere near as talented as you but I do have my moments. I always try to make shop assistants laugh or at least crack a smile. They must have a difficult life with all those miserable complaining customers to deal with all day. The young girls in my local greasy spoon all greet me with a big smile. They know I'm a harmless old fool you see & I offer no threat to them. "Spread a little happiness wherever you go" is my motto.

PS. I never trusted anyone without a sense of humour. I've met more than a few in my time - usually in the QA business. That's why I'm glad I retired when I did.

PPS. My bother & I share the same odd sense of humour. I only have to look at him in a certain way to start us both off. Can you imagine us two idiots on holiday in the States? Two weeks of pure magic.