Death- your views?

[jordonj]

Of course there's Woody Allen:

"I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking a spare change of underwear just in case."

And this one from Einstein:

"A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties
and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be
restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death."

[beaky]

Thanx for the very funny (and apropos) Woody quote; I'd forgotten that one. And Einstein also said: "Morality is of the highest importance- but for us, not for God"

[jordonj]

Albert Einstein made that quote (yes the Albert Einstein!)

I heard this little humorous story on NPR's Prarie Home Companion (what I remember of it):

There was a little girl...

Her brother was going out with a young woman of ill reputation.  She was said to wear short shorts, too much makeup, and to wear her hair in a...promiscious manner.  So the little girl did what she felt God would want her to do.

She went to tell her Mother.

The trouble was that she was so intent on telling her mother, she didn't look where she was going, and was hit by a car and killed...

I always had this...vision of her going to Heaven.  Above the clouds and celestial music playing.  Jesus is there, arms outstreched, loving smile, and is telling her "Welcome to Heaven!"

The girl is furious.  "Why did I die?!  I followed all the rules!  I lived a good life!  A-and my brother who...refused to eat his vegtables, read...sinful comic books, didn't pay attention in church..."  She rambles on for...quite awhile.  After she stops or pauses, Jesus is looking at her, still smiling his loving smile, then says: "I see someone has come to Heaven with a little anger."

"No!" protests the girl "I'm not angry!  I just want to understand..."

POIT

And she's...not in Heaven anymore.  She's in a waiting room.  She sits there for...a hundred years...then a receptionist pokes her head out and tells her "we'll be right with you".   Then she sits there another hundred years...

I remember her funeral quite clearly.  They brought in this...preacher.  He was the ...fire and brimstone type of preacher, and he was probably there because the deceased's brother was going out with that...girl of ill reputation.

He drove a rusty station wagon that belched blue smoke and was noisy.  It was towing a trailer with quotes and phrases from the Bible all over it.  His hairdo was so...awful.  It seemed combed back, yet stuck straight up...it could only have been a hairpiece.  During his sermon, he told us that...God has a purpose for us.  That we must listen to God.  That God will tell us what we must do.

And I was afraid.  I was afraid to listen to God.  Because I was afraid that God would tell me that I had to travel around and preach to people.  That I would have to drive a rusty station wagon that belched blue smoke and was noisy...towing a trailer with quotes and phrases from the Bible all over it.  And wear a hairpiece that was of such a bad hairdo, it could only be a hairpiece.