...and when i get close and take auto off the plane goes all over the place...
Perfect example of over steering. People always say smooth gentle inputs. But that says nothing. Yes be gentle and smooth but more importantly... anticipate!
As you're making a turn, use a standard turn rate... about 30 degrees. The bigger the aircraft, the slower the turn. So BEFORE you are heading the direction you want, start leveling off. The bigger the aircraft, the sooner you'll need to level. I've watched my daughter and father fly zig-zag patterns because they didn't anticipate the roll rate of the aircraft.
Your descent needs to be consitant. Diving, leveling, diving, leveling only confuses yourself. When landing, things work backwards. Use elevator to control speed and throttle to control altitude. This takes time to learn. If your too steep, throttle up a bit. As your airspeed increases, so will the nose. Try to keep the runway lights white over red, or just white and red. As you fly over the end of the runway, cut throttle. As you approach touch-down, conduct the flare (pull back on stick GENTLY to maintain level flight). You want to conduct the flare 50 feet above the runway. As your airspeed decreases, keep the nose up pitch and you should gently land.
Practice, practice, practice. I can now land 737, 747 and 777 with no problems, completely manually.
Joe