OK, I practised this mission again, because I have never been able to complete it... until tonight

Found the tactic:
- set airbrake
- set tail hook
- lower gears
- maintain your spees between 160 and 170 knot
- maintain the vario indicator (the moving thing on your HUD) between the horizon and the -5 line
- do not increase your angle of attack, it should be as low as possible
The conclusion is that if the angle of attack is too high, your plane will most likely crash upon landing. I keep my plane almost horizontal, thus the relatively "high" approach speed. In most sims I was used to, the approach speed was always something like 120 to 130 knots. Here, 160 seems to be a minimum. Got it once at 150 but the landing was hard and unstable.
Also, do NOT cut the throttle if you feel you're too high. Just try it anyway, if you're too high you won't catch the cable and go around, but if you cut the throttle, you will increase your vertical speed and you will crash.