I guess that STEAM isn't for me.

I'd like to buy something, but...
Train Simulation? Why don't they have a "
Passenger Simulation"? I mean, really, who wants to work? Also, you're stuck to the tracks.
Truck simulations? You may not be stuck on the tracks but again, who wants to work? I want to relax!
Flight sims? These are GREAT - you don't have to worry about the pesky government aviation boards, you don't have to pay every time you fuel up. Got a heart attack? NO PROBLEM - forget the medical exam and fly anyway!
Yeah. I looked at all them games and didn't find one suited for me.
Hay! What happened to that great game,
Leisure Suit Larry? Picking up girls in a bar - Now THAT is my kind of simulation!
I think that what I need is a
Motorhome Simulation. Like the flight sims, you don't have to pay for the fuel. Park it anywhere I want. Now that's for me.
Lost your license because you can't see the stop signs and traffic lights? Not a problem. Got too many tickets for speeding? The more the merrier.
Yeah, I'm too old for combat or race games. Give me a good old Motorhome game. 