Divorce à La Carte

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Divorce à La Carte

Postby H » Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:44 pm

The wife filed for divorce, then was arrested for hitting the husband in the head with a hammer -- after finding out that he'd gambled away $70,000 of their marital savings.

The wife said it only happened because her husband drove past the house. She accused his attorney of telling him and otherwise colluding with him to ruin her and threatened to strangle the attorney's secretary. She'd caught the kitchen on fire and the house burned down.

The wife filed for divorce because she thought her husband was having an affair. Her new and best undies weren't being adorned by another woman, however -- the husband was stealing his wife's undergarments and wearing them, himself.



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Re: Divorce à La Carte

Postby bigcav » Tue Mar 21, 2017 1:30 pm

Asked The other half what she wanted for her birthday.
She said "A divorce!"
I said I didn't want to spend that much.
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Re: Divorce à La Carte

Postby bigcav » Tue Mar 21, 2017 1:38 pm

My wife said she was going to divorce me because of my poor eye sight.
But I just cant see that happening.
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Re: Divorce à La Carte

Postby Hawkeye07 » Tue Mar 21, 2017 11:15 pm

Twenty years ago the wife walked into my hobby room and said she wanted a divorce. I quickly jumped up and packed her bags setting a new land speed record in the process.
I then hurried about and filled the vans' gas tank, checked the oil and coolant then got all the neighbors together for an impromptu Bon Voyage party.
That was twenty years ago...she's till here. What the hech did I do wrong? :think:
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Re: Divorce à La Carte

Postby Shadowcaster » Wed Mar 22, 2017 1:51 am

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Cheers
Rich
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

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Re: Divorce à La Carte

Postby H » Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:49 am

The thngs we learn about fellow forum members...

and, Shadowcaster, you've reminded me of another infamous divorce law firm, Ali Monee and Yu Loozitt



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Re: Divorce à La Carte

Postby bigcav » Wed Mar 22, 2017 9:35 am

How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?
Who knows.. We never get to keep the house.

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Re: Divorce à La Carte

Postby Hawkeye07 » Wed Mar 22, 2017 10:39 am

This sums it all up folks... "She Got The Goldmine, I Got The Shaft" by Jerry Red

http://www.youtube.com/watch?time_cont ... Sf5MgxQ6fs
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Re: Divorce à La Carte

Postby Shadowcaster » Fri Mar 24, 2017 5:19 am

Harry was finally a groom and was very excited about his upcoming marriage.
He was on his way out of the office when his boss came over to him with an outstretched hand:
“Congratulations Harry, I just wanted to tell you I’ve been married for twenty two years, and I am sure that you will always remember this day with the fondest of memories, as the happiest day of your life.”
“But sir,” – said Harry: “I´m a little bit confused, I’m not getting married until tomorrow!”
“Yeah, I know” – said his boss.

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Re: Divorce à La Carte

Postby Anthindelahunt » Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:27 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: Divorce à La Carte

Postby Fozzer » Sat Mar 25, 2017 6:33 pm

...double.... :lol: ... :lol: ... :lol: ...!

I wonder how many of us have been down that painful road....

....with the Sun finally shining at the end!

Paul....got the Sunny Tee-Shirt... :dance: ....!
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