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FACTS; AND MORE FACTS . . . . !?!?



Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?


Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll just see about that!

I think my neighbor is stalking me - she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.


If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Keep smiling
Tug

Wonderful stuff, Tug!..... ... ... ...!

I've saved it, and I'll send it to the rest of my comical family....

...with your kind permission... ...!

Its certainly brightened up an otherwise cold, miserable, non-Motorcycling day!.... ....!

Well done!

Paul... ... ...!

Priceless

Cheers
Rich

Sorry, Tug, but I must give some commentarty to your statements:

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
This may be due to the Errant Factor. It is errantly assumed that a 'rite of marriage' actually creates a marriage without subsequent observance of the contract (vows) of that rite. Sometimes neither participant honors those vows, sometimes only one; there is also a case wherein one was 'stood up at the alter' and insisted on proceeding, anyway -- I've no idea how that worked out!
I was hesitant to mention this but the odd number was also queried respective to two unique marriages, each between a rather tall Zulu warrior and a Pygmy...

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
He was very fortunate. You could have told him to hold out his hand -- so you could spit in it...

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
Here I must remind you of your statement, "You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body." If you allow such a girl to get access to those dollars, the attractiveness is short lived.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
All I can do here is warn you about taking for granted something that is blowing with the wind.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
First, we don't believe you -- and it makes us wonder how attractive are these women... how well do they fit in said bikinis?

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
I don't refute the intelligence of dolphins -- in fact, I might refute the intelligence of some of the people -- but the statement seems rather fishy.

These two statements belie a dangerous combination:"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll just see about that! / I think my neighbor is stalking me - she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night."

Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
Mine stays mute -- and stealthily slips away...

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Don't be fooled -- as long as they can pilfer the money, they don't care whether you're alive or not.

Fozzer wrote:Wonderful stuff, Tug!..... ... ... ...!

I've saved it, and I'll send it to the rest of my comical family....

...with your kind permission... ...!

Its certainly brightened up an otherwise cold, miserable, non-Motorcycling day!.... ....!

Well done!

Paul... ... ...!

Hey there Fozzer. Glad that I was able to cheer you up. You certainly may use anything that I post as I am always happy to put a smile on someones face. What I post is usually something that one of my former railway engineer friends send me and I pass it along. Glad everyone is enjoying it.

Keep smiling
Tug

H wrote:Sorry, Tug, but I must give some commentarty to your statements:

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
This may be due to the Errant Factor. It is errantly assumed that a 'rite of marriage' actually creates a marriage without subsequent observance of the contract (vows) of that rite. Sometimes neither participant honors those vows, sometimes only one; there is also a case wherein one was 'stood up at the alter' and insisted on proceeding, anyway -- I've no idea how that worked out!
I was hesitant to mention this but the odd number was also queried respective to two unique marriages, each between a rather tall Zulu warrior and a Pygmy...

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
He was very fortunate. You could have told him to hold out his hand -- so you could spit in it...

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
Here I must remind you of your statement, "You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body." If you allow such a girl to get access to those dollars, the attractiveness is short lived.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
All I can do here is warn you about taking for granted something that is blowing with the wind.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
First, we don't believe you -- and it makes us wonder how attractive are these women... how well do they fit in said bikinis?

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
I don't refute the intelligence of dolphins -- in fact, I might refute the intelligence of some of the people -- but the statement seems rather fishy.

These two statements belie a dangerous combination:"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll just see about that! / I think my neighbor is stalking me - she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night."

Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
Mine stays mute -- and stealthily slips away...

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Don't be fooled -- as long as they can pilfer the money, they don't care whether you're alive or not.

8-)

Always open to some great add on humor

Keep smiling
Tug