Cat's 10 Commandments

What are you laughing at?

Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby pilotwin7 » Wed Jan 06, 2016 5:20 am

Dogs are smarter than cats

A Picture speaks itself

Image Image
pilotwin7
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1908
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:50 am

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby FlexibleFlier » Wed Jan 06, 2016 7:44 am

Dogs vs. Cats

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary...
8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00pm Blue Dog Bakery treats! My favorite thing!
7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!
11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity…

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash-or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something to keep up my: strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I bad hoped that this would strike fear in their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter” I am. The imbeciles.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement. However, I could bear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies”. I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow – but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems more than willing to return.

He is obviously not all there.
FlexibleFlier
2nd Lieutenant
2nd Lieutenant
 
Posts: 223
Joined: Sat Nov 30, 2013 9:17 am

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby pilotwin7 » Wed Jan 06, 2016 9:06 am

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary.
All day long Dog food ?? My favorite thing!

Image

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity…

Image
pilotwin7
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1908
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:50 am

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby Jean Loup » Wed Jan 06, 2016 12:59 pm

"No Blau Snowfeet, I will NOT SHARE my ball" :naughty:
Image

Smiley Bitches at Home: Cleopatra Golden & Vero Selfie :think:
Image
Image
...LiCENSE & REGiSTRATiON !!
User avatar
Jean Loup
Captain
Captain
 
Posts: 724
Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2012 12:37 am
Location: Hacienda Armonía, MX

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby pilotwin7 » Wed Jan 06, 2016 1:16 pm

Image

Image
pilotwin7
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1908
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:50 am

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby Shadowcaster » Wed Jan 06, 2016 2:33 pm

Image

Cheers
Rich

Image
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Spike Milligan
User avatar
Shadowcaster
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1765
Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:39 am
Location: Cornwall UK

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby pilotwin7 » Wed Jan 06, 2016 3:31 pm

Image
pilotwin7
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1908
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:50 am

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby pilotwin7 » Sat Jun 25, 2016 1:22 pm

Image
pilotwin7
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1908
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:50 am

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby pilotwin7 » Tue Jun 28, 2016 3:39 pm

Image
pilotwin7
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1908
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:50 am

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby FlexibleFlier » Tue Jun 28, 2016 9:08 pm

Dogs have Masters...cats have Staff.
FlexibleFlier
2nd Lieutenant
2nd Lieutenant
 
Posts: 223
Joined: Sat Nov 30, 2013 9:17 am

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby pilotwin7 » Tue Jun 28, 2016 11:02 pm

Image
pilotwin7
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1908
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:50 am

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby Fozzer » Wed Jun 29, 2016 2:55 am

The problem I have with domestic Cats, (apart from them crapping in my garden), is that they remind me too much of their much larger, wild brethren, who spend most of their time searching for fresh meat, (Humans, other creatures, etc,), to eat.

Big Cats smell very strongly of ammonia...and would cause me great concern if I strayed outside of England...>>>>

http://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/60-minu ... o-gallery/ .... :o ...!

Paul.... :mrgreen: ...!
Win 8.1 64-bit. DX11. Advent Tower. Intel i7-3770 3.9 GHz 8-core. 8 GB System RAM. AMD Radeon HD 7700 1GB RAM. DVD ROM. 2 Terra Byte SATA Hard Drive. Philips 17" LCD Monitor. Saitek Cyborg X Fly-5 Joystick. ...and a Briggs and Stratton Petrol Lawn Mower.
User avatar
Fozzer
Colonel
Colonel
 
Posts: 27355
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2002 3:11 pm
Location: Hereford. England. EGBS.

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby pilotwin7 » Wed Jun 29, 2016 7:38 am

[quote="Fozzer"]The problem I have with domestic Cats, (apart from them crapping in my garden),.

Image
pilotwin7
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1908
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:50 am

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby pilotwin7 » Fri Jul 01, 2016 9:50 am

Fozzer wrote: they remind me too much of their much larger, wild brethren, who spend most of their time searching for fresh meat, (Humans, other creatures, etc,), to eat.

Paul.... :mrgreen: ...!



Image
pilotwin7
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1908
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:50 am

Re: Cat's 10 Commandments

Postby pilotwin7 » Sat Jul 02, 2016 7:47 am

Fozzer wrote:
Big Cats smell very strongly of ammonia...and would cause me great concern if I strayed outside of England...>>>>

Paul.... :mrgreen: ...!


Image
pilotwin7
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1908
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:50 am

Next

Return to Humour

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 177 guests