The Man Who Loved Beans
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to him. Then one day he met a woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry he thought to himself, she is such a sweet and gentle woman, she would never go for this carrying on. So he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later his car broke down on the way home from work. Since he lived in the country he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. On his way, he passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than he could stand. Since he still had miles to walk, he figured that he would walk off any ill effects by the time he reached home. So, he stopped at the diner and before he knew it, he had consumed three large orders baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted, and upon arriving home he felt reasonably sure he could control it.
His wife seemed excited to see him and exclaimed delightedly, “Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight.” she then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the table. She seated herself and just as she was about to remove the blindfold from her husband, the telephone rang. She made him promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned. She then went to answer the telephone. The baked beans he had consumed were still affecting him and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while his wife was out of the room he seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. He took his napkin and fanned the air around him vigorously. Then, he shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded him of cooked cabbage.
Keeping his ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, he went on like this for another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells signaled the end of his freedom, he fanned the air a few more times with his napkin placed it on his lap and folded his hands upon it, smiling contentedly to himself.
He was the picture of innocence when his wife returned, apologizing for taking so long, she asked him if he peeked, and he assured him that he had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and he was surprised!
There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish him and his wife a Happy Anniversary!
by Shadowcaster » Fri Jul 03, 2015 2:24 pm 
Re: Pass Gas
....
...!
....>>>
...
