WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS

What are you laughing at?

WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS

Postby Tug002 » Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:52 am

Going through some old files and came across this so I thought I would share.


WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS




'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'
- Infantry Journal-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'
- US.Air Force Manual -


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'
- General MacArthur -


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.'
- Infantry Sgt.-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Tracers work both ways.'
- Army Ordnance Manual-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Five second fuses last about three seconds.'
- Infantry Journal -


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you.
-Basic Flight Training Manual-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'
- Naval Ops Manual -


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'
- Unknown Infantry Recruit-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up to him.'
- Infantry Journal-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'
- Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'
-Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
-Unknown Author-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'
- Fixed Wing Pilot-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
-Multi-Engine Training Manual-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.'
-Unknown Author-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'If you hear me yell;"Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.'
If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.'
-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.'
-Sign over Control Tower Door-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Never trade luck for skill.'
-Author Unknown-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are:'Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and'Oh S...!'
-Authors Unknown-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'
-Basic Flight Training Manual-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.'
- Emergency Checklist-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you..'
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot) -


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'
-Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ-


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'

- Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft,

having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives.


The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks,'What happened?'
The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'


Keep smiling
Tug :)
User avatar
Tug002
Captain
Captain
 
Posts: 845
Joined: Wed Apr 16, 2014 7:34 am
Location: Ontario, Canada. CYSH

Re: WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS

Postby OldAirmail » Sun Apr 20, 2014 12:39 pm

:clap: :clap: :clap: :D
.. .
Get the most out of your controls - SPAD.neXt

Image
. . . . . .Any time, any plane, any weather.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . Prepar3d V4
User avatar
OldAirmail
Major
Major
 
Posts: 4814
Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2013 3:06 pm
Location: Concrete, WA ICAO - 3W5

Re: WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS

Postby papituwall » Sun Apr 20, 2014 1:27 pm

:dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: <<v <<q <<s
User avatar
papituwall
Captain
Captain
 
Posts: 833
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2013 1:42 pm
Location: LEZG

Re: WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS

Postby Capt_Cronic » Sun Apr 20, 2014 2:41 pm

Addemdom;

•Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

•If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

•Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

•It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

•The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

•When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

•A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

•Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

•The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

•Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

•Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

•Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

•There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

•You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

•Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them. They are bullies, beating the air into submission.

•If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

•In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

•Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

•Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
ASUS P8Z77-VLK, I5-3570k @ 4.4ghz, G.SKILL 16gb 1600, GTX 570 2560MB GDDR5, 2x OCZ Vertex 4 128Gb SSD SATA 3,
WD 500GB SATA 3, ASUS DRW-24B1ST SATA 3, OCZ ModXStream Pro 700W Modular, Samsung 52" lcd, Win 7 Ultimate x64 SP1
Capt_Cronic
2nd Lieutenant
2nd Lieutenant
 
Posts: 218
Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2013 1:37 pm

Re: WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS

Postby Bass » Mon Apr 21, 2014 6:57 am

Now, this is WISDOM from top and down!!!
:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
"Just try to be YOU"!............ Kurt 

System. GA-X58A-UD3R, i7-950QC, Corsair XMS3 18GB 2000, GTX 780 tf 3GB, Corsair CMPSU-850, 24 BenQ 120, TM Hotas cougar, win7 pro.
User avatar
Bass
Major
Major
 
Posts: 3043
Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:32 am
Location: Scandinavia

Re: WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS

Postby Staiduk » Sat Apr 26, 2014 7:17 pm

Four from my Grandfather; WWII Hurricane pilot and Northern Ontario bush flyer Norm Organ (still remembered around Peterborough as the Grey Baron) when I started flight lessons at age 16 30 years ago:
1): The most important part of an airplane is the nut holding the steering wheel
2): (After being asked about the proper attitude for straight and level flight) "Don't worry about the attitude of the airplane. Worry about the attitude of the pilot. That's more important."
3): Q: "If the airplane goes into a spin, how long do I have to recover?" (I WAS 16, remember.) A: "The rest of your life, boy."
4): (The first time (age 20) I flew his prized Champ off the water) "I paid thirty grand for this plane. I didn't pay a penny for you. If it comes down to you or the plane, save the plane. My insurance doesn't cover idiot grandkids."

Yup...I miss him. :)
Staiduk
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1070
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2004 8:12 am

Re: WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS

Postby PhantomTweak » Sat Apr 26, 2014 11:47 pm

Always remember, it's never a good idea to try and do a barrell roll in an HH-60 full of troopies with the side doors open...

And if the Pilot screws up, the pilot dies....if an ATC screws up, the pilot dies...

Pat☺
Have fun, fly high, far, and free!
Pat
2S7, Chiloquin OR Image
User avatar
PhantomTweak
Captain
Captain
 
Posts: 599
Joined: Mon Oct 14, 2013 11:10 pm
Location: Chiloquin OR

Re: WISDOM FROM TRAINING MANUALS

Postby Staiduk » Sun Apr 27, 2014 3:12 am

PhantomTweak wrote:Always remember, it's never a good idea to try and do a barrell roll in an HH-60 full of troopies with the side doors open...

And if the Pilot screws up, the pilot dies....if an ATC screws up, the pilot dies...

Pat☺



Hey, hey, HEY! As Section Commander I was always the soldier closest to the door; so I'd be the first tossed out - take it easy! I don't mind getting there bent; I'd just like to GET there; thanks. :)
Staiduk
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1070
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2004 8:12 am


Return to Humour

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 352 guests